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Dear DeDe- Dealing With Loss

Rumpy:  Oh Dog!  It’s Sunday, and that means it’s time for another edition of Dear DeDe.  Are you ready DeDe?

DeDe:  I am present and accounted for!

Rumpy:  Today we have a question from an anonymous poster.  She recently lost a well-loved dog and misses him something awful.  So do the others in the household.  She wants some advice on dealing with it.

DeDe:  This is a hard one, but since we just went through this not too long ourselves I guess we know a little about that topic.

Rumpy:  Yeah, our Sage left us a little over a month ago.

DeDe:  The first thing is to remember that the process IS different for everyone.

Rumpy:  Yeah, you went from aloof to staying closer to Jen.  You appeared to be happy, but Jen could tell you were anxious.

DeDe:  You were upset before Sage left us because you knew she wasn’t well.  You spent alot of time alone but you didn’t really want to be away from home either.  And you were still that way when she first left us.

Rumpy:  The kitties all acted different too.  They all wanted to be close to Jen.  And Jen?  Well, she was second-guessing herself, wondering if she’d made the right decision.

DeDe:  We believe it’s important to acknowledge everyone’s feelings without allowing them to impact our actions.  Dogs still need to be walked.  Litter boxes still need to be cleaned.  Floors still need to be vacuumed.

Rumpy:  I didn’t want to walk but Jen insisted we go, even if to the end of the driveway and back.  She walks DeDe and I separately, and she has made sure to make it a positive time for us.  She has also been more mindful of the kitties’ needs.  If one comes and sits by the computer while she’s working, she stops working and spends some time with the kitty.

DeDe:  So if you want my advice, it is to accept that you’re sad and keep doing what you need to do for yourself and the rest of your family.  Each of you is discovering your “new normal.”  But do not allow yourself to wallow in your sorrow.  It is not healthy, and your companion wouldn’t want that for you.

Rumpy:  *stares* DeDe?  I don’t believe it!  You actually gave some pretty good advice!

DeDe:  Oh ye of little faith Rumpy. *sticks tongue out*

Me and DeDe with our dear Sage

Rumpy:  If you would like advice from Dear DeDe, be sure to submit your questions!

DeDe:  And don’t forget to join my fan page on Facebook!  BOL

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In case you missed it, next Friday we are having our first-ever Haiku Challenge!  Write your haiku then come back next Friday and post it to share.  This is just for FUN, so don’t you DARE chicken out!

About Jen and the Furries

Hello and welcome. I’m a 50 something woman who’s probably awake when she should be sleeping. Oh, and there are animals, because who doesn’t have pets?

Discussion

12 thoughts on “Dear DeDe- Dealing With Loss

  1. Dear DeDe, I actually read this without tears…because we also lost our precious ones a few times in past. The day we lost our last brother a few years ago, my mom couldn’t stand up…couldn’t walk… we were all so upset. I know that all of us have to experience this someday. Yes, your advice is really good! We always keep it in mind, either. Thanks for a lovely photo of three of you, which almost made me cry again because it reminded me how your family felt when you lost dear Sage. Thanks, DeDe and Rumpy.

    Posted by eripanwkevin | September 4, 2011, 2:54 AM
  2. Wow!! DeDe gave some good advice for a change. And not just good advice, but really useful GREAT advice!! I’m very impressed.

    Oh, seems Bogey has a question for the both of you:

    Bogey: Woo woo! Hi Rumpy! I’m readin he blog with Rerun, and wondered why you and DeDe don’t walk together? My Dad (who Rerun calls male Staff) used to walk Bailey and me separately, but now walks us together and we love it! We balance each other out.

    Posted by Rerun The Cat | September 4, 2011, 3:22 AM
    • We walk separately because I like to stop and smell the roses but DeDe wants to run a marathon. And since neither of us is the best-behaved dog on walks (in all fairness, Jen has tried to train us but she really stinks at that), this works best for all.

      Posted by rumpydog | September 4, 2011, 5:57 AM
      • That sounds like me and Bailey. I love to run around and pee on everything, while she likes to sniff around for the perfect spot. Dad hated walking us together but once he started doing it all the time, we started acting better. With you two being bigger pups (you’re HUGE!) it might take longer, but you guys can do it!

        Posted by Bogey Dog | September 5, 2011, 10:12 PM
  3. Excellent advice, Rumps and Deeds (that can be DeDe’s nickname).

    Posted by Christine Maurer | September 4, 2011, 9:25 PM
  4. Very wise advice DeDe x

    Posted by chabichou | September 5, 2011, 6:32 AM
  5. I like your advice, too. I have lost two of my doggy pals over the years. The most important thing is to grieve in some way, whatever your process is you have to go through it. No shortcuts. Thank you for helping Anon to see this.

    And thanks for stopping by my bloggie, too!

    Shady

    Posted by Shady | September 5, 2011, 8:34 AM
  6. I JUST READ SOME OF YOUR STORIES EVERYONE. U ALL ARE A HANDSOME BUNCH. I LOST MY BEST FRIEND ALMOST 2 YRS AGO. HER NAME IS MOLLY. SHE WAS 13 YRS OLD. I CRY EVERY DAY. I MISS HER SO.

    Posted by mae mills | April 17, 2012, 8:35 PM

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