Oh Dog! I really scored today! I have none other than a World-Famous A-list celebrity as my guest today. Now I know what you’re thinking- Rumpy, I’ve never HEARD of this so-called celebrity! Well to that all I can say is Come Back on the Grid People! Anyway, if you DON’T know about Pussie Gabor, then grab a martini and give us a read here. Dogs and cats, I give you- Pussie Gabor!!!!!
Rumpy: Well Ms. Gabor, thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to be my guest today. How about you start by telling us a little about yourself.
Pussie Gabor: As you are acutely aware, I am exquisite beyond compare in the beauty department… and that is probably the most important thing in the world when you really think about it. Of course, I’m also an astute businesswoman and an entrepreneur with far too many accolades to write about in this small space.
Oh, and I’m also quite beautiful (did I mention that yet?) If not, then I’ll take the time to do so now… I am extraordinarily beautiful. Also dah’ling Rumpy, as anyone who reads the news or watches television is aware, I am a HUGE star and a genuine celebrity of the highest magnitude, I’m in great demand right now. I also have a magnificent new boyfriend named Chola Neez who is successful and extremely handsome, which again, is what counts most of all. But enough about him, let’s talk about me again.
I do want to take the tiniest moment to mention my latest project, a film that I am in the middle of filming right now. I’m so excited because this is the second film that I have done this year with legendary movie director David Lynch. The movie stars me, of course, and my costar is the lovely Jane Lynch who is fatally lynched in a lynch mob, we’re filming in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Tight Lynch Studios will distribute the film for launch in early 2012 with the working title of Lynch, Lynched in Lynchburg! There’s already an Oscar buzz on this one, dah’lings!
Rumpy: *stares* Oh I’m sure…. well, let’s talk about treats. What are your favorites?
Pussie Gabor: Oh Rumpy, you ask the sweetest questions dah’ling. My favorite treat would have to be sushi covered in a caviar cream sauce… its absolutely sinful… and you know dah’ling, I adore anything sinful! On the rarest of occasions (read continuously) I enjoy the tiniest droplet of vodka for medicinal purposes of course. Oh, and I also enjoy gin, whiskey, scotch, bourbon, rum, tequila and other forms of hooch. I drink, of course, only on the rarest of occasions. Just the other day I had this partial hangnail that hurt so bad. I had to drink two entire bottles of vodka just to kill that nagging pain.
Rumpy: Of course.
Pussie Gabor: By the way Rumpy, the tabloid journalists and television news reports about my drinking are entirely exaggerated and made up. There have not been sightings of liquor store delivery trucks pulling in and out of my driveway at all hours of the night (I have them deliver during the daylight in unmarked trucks). Now you know the truth. Anyway dah’ling, I do partake in the occasional beverage while entertaining at parties and occasionally when I am alone. I don’t see anything wrong with that, despite what that creepy judge said to me about my liquid indulgences in court. Really, is there no privacy in the world anymore?
Rumpy: I guess so…. well, tell us about your history with social media.
Pussie Gabor: Oh Rumpy dah’ling, you are my very first Facebook interview… can’t hardly believe it myself. I rarely have time for interviews with anyone these days. My agent and manager make me do all the major networks and big magazine interviews, but this is my first online interview… fabulous questions by the way dah’ling.
Oh, and I don’t do the Twitter thingy yet dah’ling, honestly, my schedule is so ramped up right now, there’s just no time for it really.
I’m also fairly new to Facebook itself, I’ve only been on Facebook since October, which is two months now. It’s been a fabulous aspect to have the introduction of Facebook in my busy career. I can post Facebook updates while flying between engagements and appearances in my signature pink Gulfstream G450… when time permits, at my leisure.
Rumpy: Oh Dog!
I also met my new boyfriend, the distinguished Chola Neez right here on Facebook… and everyone knows what a world-class feather in my cap that catch of a man was for me. I adore him and he’s so smart.
And of course, dah’ling Rumpy, Facebook is how you and I have become acquainted as well. I’d say Facebook has many fascinating aspects, and I’m learning new things every day. Just like this interview that you asked me to do, it’s so much easier than sitting in some stuffy studio with all the hot lights. You don’t even realize that I am sitting here in my dressing gown with a medicinal drink in my hand, nonchalantly smoking a long cigarette and dictating to my personal assistant while Edith Goldfarb is working on backcombing my hair.
Facebook changes everyday… Hey, that’s a good motto… Facebook changes everything! Dah’ling, I am so good! I have quite a few Facebook fans for only being on Facebook for a couple of months, but you know, when you got it, you got it… and dah’ling, I got it! So it’s no real surprise that I already have so many of these Facebook fans and fame hanger-oners in great numbers on Facebook in this brief flash of time… it’s simple… I am fabulous, dah’ling!
Rumpy: Oh you’re something alright! *rolls eyes* What else about you would you like everyone to know?
Pussie Gabor: Well, my dah’ling Rumpy, the first and foremost thing I want people to know about me is that I am deep down an unpretentious and humble girl at heart. Oh sure, I am an amazing and talented superstar, gorgeous and brilliant beyond words. You know, it takes someone pretty tuned into reality to remain as humble as I am when every waking moment of your life is filled with raging fans and paparazzi taking photographs and asking for my autograph- the adulation and fan worship alone would go to the head of a lesser woman than I, my dear Rumpy.
Rumpy: I don’t see how you do it. *snickers* Now, one last question for fun. If you were a dinosaur, what kinda dinosaur would you be?
Pussie Gabor: Well that’s a pretty simple question dah’ling, Rumpy… I’d be nothing less than a Fabulousaurus!
Rumpy: I knew it! Well thanks for being my guest Ms. Gabor!
Pussie Gabor: Hugs and Fake Hollywood Kisses, Dah’ling
DISCLAIMER: Ms. Gabor provided the photo and her words are all her own. *whew*