This weekend I did something that fills the nightmares of almost every mother in the world.
I took a child from its mother.
I didn’t take this step lightly. I didn’t do it without support from others. I only did so after there appeared to be no less drastic measure to insure the child remained safe. But it was me that took the child from its mother and drove away.
I can’t speak for every person who does this kind of work. But I bet many know how I feel right now. There’s a heavy ache in my gut that nothing seems to soothe.
I replay everything in my mind. I keep asking myself if there was something that could have been done to prevent this from having to happen.
And my soul burns with the knowledge that, despite what has happened to make it necessary for this child to have to be removed, I have taken that child from the one person they are most bonded with, the person that child looks to for comfort. My actions have created yet more trauma for that child.
I will feel bad for a bit, but there is more work to be done, so I have to suck it up and go on.
.
At the same time, I cannot help but think of those of us humans who take children away from their mothers on a regular basis. In fact, we force breeding on females for the sole purpose of taking their children away from them.
We do it to cows so we can gorge on milk, yogurt, and ice cream.
We do it to tigers, so we can have our photo made with a tiger cub because they are Just So Cute!
We breed so we can sell the offspring for a profit. Some mothers get to keep their babies until they are old enough to be on their own. Most unscrupulous breeders remove children from their mother far too soon. We sell the babies to racing tracks, to research laboratories, and to other humans who buy them as we would a designer handbag.
Not only are we so cruel to regularly act this way toward animals without feeling, but we have convinced ourselves that our actions are OK because the animals don’t feel either. Or that our actions are OK because animals are not our equals, so we can treat them with impunity. Or that our actions are OK because, after all, we DO have to EAT, don’t we? Or that while we are sorry the animals suffer, it’s OK to do what we do if it means a cure for cancer, or heart disease, or…… dry, flaky scalp.
Then we go on our merry way, oblivious to the suffering we’ve caused, regardless of our motives. We justify our actions and the actions of others because it’s the “right thing to do.” But, right, wrong, or indifferent, the trauma remains.
.
If there is such a thing as karma, I have much to pay for the trauma I’ve inflicted on other living beings.
Dogpaddling Through Life 
I am sure you did what you had to do. Though I don’t know the case, think of it like animal rescue. You took the child from a situation which wasn’t right so it can be ‘rehomed’. One of my friends was in care and it was the best thing that happened to her. Her foster family are wonderful and she still lives with them. If she had stayed with her birth mother she would have never had the opportunities she has now.
I am positive you made the right choice, whatever the reasons
~ Amy
I know that Amy. But it doesn’t change the fact that my actions also have consequences.
I understand, and nothing I say will really help. But you did what was needed, and what I’m sure anyone would do. I hope that brings you some comfort. I could never judge you for doing the right thing *hugs*
Oh Jen, I can’t fathom what having a child taken must be like. For anyone concerned. But I also can’t fathom a situation which would warrant Love Bug being taken from me. If a parent isn’t capable {whatever the reason} of keeping that child safe and protected and loved, then thank DOG society has processes in place – and people like you – to take that child to a place where it will be safe and protected and hopefully loved. You would think nothing of taking an animal from a situation which would cause them harm, so although I can only imagine how you might be feeling, take this virtual hug from all of us and a huge thank you. I could never do such a job. I am in awe every day of people who work in social services {my sister is one of them}. xox
Sorry that this situation has arisen,it’s not good for anyone and nothing anyone says will ease your aching heart…life can be seriously confronting and we all bear the weights of actions and decisions we take..it’s this weight that shows we care and have concerns beyond the moment..my heart goes to those who do not have this weight as they are missing that humanity.Cuddle your pups and kitties ,have a cry maybe and then indeed put your best foot forward again.Hugs Fozziemum xx
Don’t feel bad. And don’t worry about the consequences. Noone know the future but Jesus. A situation can seems awfull right now, but, in the future, turns out to be a blessing. When you act right (and i am quite sure you did), then you dont have to worry about anything.
Furthermore, you don’t have to blame yourself. You cannot save folks without their will nor change the world alone.
XXXXXX
When I was a kid, we didn’t rescue dogs. And we certainly didn’t buy them. Someone in the neighborhood would advertise that they had puppies. After meeting the dog-parents – if we didn’t already know them – the prospective new family was taken to meet the mother dog. She had already done her work in weening and early life training of her litter. Her nose, and her innate ability to judge character, were the only tools she needed to assess whether or not the family visiting, would be a good forever home for one of her babies. If she liked you, you were allowed to pick out your family member and companion.
While it was assumed that Mama’s dog-parents had taken care of all the shots and early post natal care, we always asked, just to be sure. If everybody involved, was in agreement, we took home a new dog.
I speak dog. Have, fluently, since I can remember. Therefore, I can tell you that these were not sad or painful occasions for Mama, or her bright-eyed young. She understood that she had fulfilled her part of a bargain tens of thousands of years old. A bargain first forged by Wolf and the earliest of Man. Simply – we’ll care for each other. She trusted in her judgement, and what she knew of the 2 legged ones – who had provided her, her parents and her parents’ parents with lives, homes, love, a family. She knew that the destinies of her children lay in making another family as happy as she had made hers.
There is no sin in owning a dog. Look at the rich and full lives you’ve given Rumpy and DeDe.
Nowadays, we rescue – and we spay and neuter – because it’s we, Mankind, who have broken our word. We are the ones who violated this ancient and sacred pact. But no dog ever born, didn’t yearn for a Human to care for – to love, unconditionally, from the moment it’s eyes opened for the first time, to the last time they closed.
And when a dog finally does cross that Rainbow Bridge, she is reunited with her brothers and sisters for days of romping and playing, but at night – each night – she makes that long journey back to lie at the feet of her forever friend.
Reading your sadness and despair, and yet also your loving kindness and empathy. Those count and MAKE a DIFFERENCE.
I would say that you should think of this as the difference between living a NIGHTMARE and a BAD DREAM. Neither are Great.. but the Bad Dream is the best of the two.
Life is not without its trauma, and even if the action is for the best it still feels wrong. There are many, like you, who have enough of a conscience to recognize it needs to be done and the strength to do it. As for those who participate in breeding animals, they have yet to learn.
I love you, Jen. You’re a sister. This is never easy, none of it. I worked the second busiest ER in LA county, with the highest census of child abuse. Making that phone call to the police was never easy, seeing the child, dealing with all the human emotion and reaction, theirs and mine. And, then to the animals, the trauma, the heartbreak all around, the insufferable way they are treated like objects kills me. And, yes, we move on with our lives, never the same. If you ever have reason to come to So. Calif you’d have a bed at my place and food on the table to chew. I’m grateful I connected with you, grateful for the goodness of your heart, the wisdom you share, the ethics for humans and animals you espouse, and the way you make us laugh when we need that relief. Love, Paulette
Reblogged this on The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap and commented:
It’s never easy to do right when it involves the conflict of traumatic suffering factored into the decision. I worked the second busiest emergency room in Los Angeles County, with the highest census of child abuse, so believe me when I say it is heartbreaking and gut-twisting to take an action that may be the right way to go where their is never a winner. Sending some special love to Rumpydog’s mom, Jen, for all she tirelessly does to help us human and advocate for the voiceless.
Came from Paulett’es reblog to thank you for acting and speaking out on behalf of the voiceless.
It is an unsolvable dilemma. Removing this child could have saved her life. And humans will not cease to eat meat. As for rescue it is done four paws at a time…IMHO
I was taken from my pack, but we all would have dies of starvation if not. Plus, I got my Mama! Don’t feel bad; you opened the way for a better life! Wooooowooooos and nose kisses toooyooooowooooo!
“The Buddha teaches this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”
–Buddha.
Jen, it’s heart-wrenching just reading about it. When that emotion eased, the thought entered that you may have saved a life or may have saved a child from the pain of abuse. I know that you would never have taken the child if it wasn’t the last resort.
I am sorry you had to do what you did. Sometimes you just have to do the lesser of two evils.
On the animal front, my wife and I rented a small cottage when we first got together 14 years ago (tomorrow is our anniversary). It was on a large property with about 20 cows that we were somewahat responsible for. We were there about five months and saw the addition of at least two new calves. The evening before we moved out, men came and removed all but five cows, including the young ones. That night we listened all night to what sounded like crying from one or two of the remaining cows.
You did not go on your… “…merry way, oblivious…” You did what needed doing. I am thankful there are people like you to help those in need.
Being a former foster parent for 18 years and having my son kidnapped I know that feeling all too well. You are so right that it is painful and no matter how bad the situation is for a child they never want to leave the only home and mother they have known. It is heartbreaking all around but at the same time many children’s lives have been saved because of people like you that rescue them. I know it does not help the pain to know that but sometimes the choices we have to make are very painful as we well know. My heart and prayers go out to all involved in situations like this one. Sending you big hugs!!
Thanks. Doing the right thing doesn’t mean it comes without consequences.
That is for sure.
I can only hope never to be put in this situation but if I am, I know I will step up to the plate. There is a right life and a wrong one and sometimes, it takes faith to make a decision.
I am sorry you have had to do this, but I am glad that someone as caring as you were the one to do it. Some would have taken it as a matter of course with no sympathy. I pray your heart heals over this and leaves you stronger.
What you so ably demonstrate is compassion. And, In the words of Nelson Mandela ‘Our human compassion binds us the one to the other – not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future.’
Whatever you do, it always has reason, Jen. You do things for something.
We as a society need to keep on protecting the innocent and the vulnerable even if it is not the best feeling immediately. It takes a very strong person to do so and I wish there were more like you. The fallout or consequences will be better given this scenario than the alternative. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for doing what you do, and for caring, Jen.
I am a therapist who works in the world of foster care and know all too well how heavy the heart can be even when doing what is in the child’s best interests.
I then rescued two dogs. They are mother and daughter and have never been separated. Just thinking of how much I miss my mom, I couldn’t go along with the local rescues plan to adopt them out separately. I’ve called them “foster dogs,” but they’ve been here a year. You can sort of guess where that’s leading.
I don’t eat animals, but I haven’t given up dairy. I’d love to see if cruelty-free dairy is possible.
I do some things right and try to help along the way. I sometimes have to make the tough calls, speak the hard truth in court, and try to pick up the pieces. I try to do right by animals, too.
I make unwitting mistakes and at times ones I’m fully knowledgable about. I try to do more good than harm.
It’s good to be aware of how serious this all is, whether the animal in question is a human or not. I suspect you do way more good than you realize. I pledge to be more aware of the consequences of my choices and to continue to try to make a difference. I know you’ll be doing the same. It’s a little reassuring knowing their are good souls out their trying to ask the right questions and take the best actions in the gi en circumstances.
Love this Rumpy perspective. I understand your heavy heart. You are actually a good at heart dog.