A Former Feral’s Letter to Santa

MEOW! Hissy Fit Jones here. We are each writing letters to Santa, and today I’m sharing mine.

The person who did this to me will be very sorry……

Dear Santa:

Don’t let the name fool ya; I have been a very good cat this year. In fact, sharing duties with June Buggie alone ought to qualify me for sainthood!

But enough about that.

I feel compelled to say, first of all, that I think I have it pretty good. For a cat that started out feral, and for all intents and purposes is still mostly feral, I have done well for myself. Sure, I do have to share one human with several other cats and dogs, but I have regular meals, reasonably clean digs, and temperature control. All in all, I’d say I scored!

So what would I like for Christmas? Well, I am a simple cat with simple tastes. 

But I’m willing to expand my horizons. 

I was thinking I’d like one of those special outside enclosures for kitties. Nothing fancy. Just something the size of my backyard that would let me experience being outdoors without having to worry about dogs. Or other cats. Or crazy humans. 

Oh, and do they make caviar for cats? I’ve always wanted to try it, you know.

Oh, and how about cars for cats? Do they make those? If so, I’d like one, please.

Wait….. I’m not asking for too much, am I? I know I sometimes get on a roll.

But one more thing please. Could you trade my human in on a newer model? This one is kinda old and tired, and I’d like one that’s a bit more energetic and a lot more gullible. 

Well, I guess I’d better quit while I’m ahead. Take care, jolly fat guy, and do what you can, OK?



26 thoughts on “A Former Feral’s Letter to Santa

  1. Well Hissy how on EARTH could the fat guy resist bringing everything on your Wish List? Can’t imagine – good luck…..I’m sure you’re in for some surprises at the very least! 😉

    Happy Holidays from another former feral!

  2. Hey Hissy, we love your letter to Santa! We hope your wishes come true… well except for the one where you want to trade your poor human for a newer model… 😯 Are you sure about that? Won’t you miss her???? She seems like a REALLY nice lady! Please, please change your mind about that, Sweety! 🙂

    Oh, and should you ever find out whether they make caviar for cats or even cars for cats (now how cool would that be! 😎 ), please let us know!! We’d love to get those things too!!! Please keep us updated! 😀

    Happy Holidays to you and your family!

    Kitty hugs,
    Roxy & Tigerlino

  3. HI Hissy! You’re so funny! I love your sense of humor, Hissy! I agree about the idea of special outside enclosures for kitties…our kitties need them, too…Good idea! However you shouldn’t trade your human to a newer model, Hissy….she is the one who think of you the most….who loves you the most…I know you need her, right?
    I hope your other wishes come true on Christmas Day! 🙂
    P.S. Love your picture, Hissy!

  4. Dear Hissy: What a cute letter! I’m sure you don’t mean that about trading in your owner for a newer model–you’d probably miss her like crazy. I, too, am a feral. My life began in a terrible way; when I was just a kitten some kids grabbed me, set me on fire and then left me in a dumpster to die. Luckily, someone heard me cry–and he brought me to the doctor and then over to his mom, Liz, who’s a wound nurse. She took really good care of me and “adopted” me permanently. So now I have a great house, lots of food, wonderful human parents and lots of cousins and a next door neighbor who spoils me like crazy. Love, Meow, Meow.

  5. GAH! Hissy! You can’t trade in your human! She would miss you too much. And even if you won’t say it, you’d miss her too! I’m sure Santa will being lots of goodies for you.

    Love and licks,

  6. Hissy Fit Jones, I think you should get everything on your list just for having the best cat name EVER! But don’t trade Jen in! She’s awesome! I think I’ll put a backyard-sized cat enclosure in my Santa letter, too. What a great idea, Hissy. Thank goodness you found a wonderful forever home – cos what ever would we do without you! x

  7. LOL. Hissy! You have so many demands. Spoken like a true cat.

    By the way, I think you should remove the part about the human replacement. Humans are so different from each other that even though they fit your criteria, there’s no certainty that they will be as nice and sweet as your previous human.

  8. MOL Hissy Fit we had no idea ya waz a feral kitteh…ya haz dun so guud fer yerself…me hopez ya get a condo n a car n treetz; keep da Hu’Man tho’…a GUUD Hu’Man can bee hard to find 😉
    Nylablue xx

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