Dear DeDe:

054

For the few short years we’ve spent together, you have been a constant reminder of all that is good and right in the world. You are kind, caring, and perpetually happy.

I’m the polar opposite of all that you are. I’m flawed, jaded, and often angry.

When I took you to the vet Friday, I had no idea I was going to learn that you may have cancer.

There have been significant health scares before. From the lick granulomas we struggled with for over a year, to the Cushing’s scare, the diabetes insipidus, and then arthritis.

But this time the news wasn’t at all good. The cells from the tumor don’t look normal. There’s apparently a second mass on the underside of your tail, and possibly a third. Getting the sample was painful for you, and I can see even more today that your leg bothers you. You won’t even let me touch your tail. And most significant, you aren’t smiling.

Rumpy has been upset lately, and now I know why. He was the same way with Sage before she left us. As for me, I’m a wreck. I feel guilty, wondering why I didn’t see this sooner. I cry. I have no appetite. I can’t think. My eyes are so red, I’m sure everyone at the post box thought I was high.

I’ve got to get it together, though. We need to enjoy today. We don’t have a final diagnosis yet, so there’s still a chance it’s something else. I need to be strong, so I can do right by you, whatever that entails.

MC from Rumpy and DeDe

DeDe, you are, more than any other creature, the one who has inspired me to be my best. I don’t know how I can be that person without you.

83 thoughts on “Dear DeDe:

  1. Now, my eyes are red too….I can’t believe what I’m reading about….I’m upset…I don’t want to believe it, too…DeDe always makes us smile and feel happy…I strongly hope that her condition will be something different…not serious one…I’m keeping my fingers crossed and our paw family are keeping all their paws crossed that DeDe will be fine. We’ve been praying nothing wrong with DeDe. We’re here for DeDe, Jen and all runpy’s family. from Kevin, mom, Shiro, Chibi, Tora and Hime.

  2. Im hoping all goes well with DeDe, and if it doesn’t she’ll be witb u and know she is loved…ur all in my thoughts xx

  3. I am so sorry to hear this news. I know only too well how scary and difficult it is, and I feel for you. DeDe is such a beautiful girl. I don’t know you but I know you rescue dogs which makes you a wonderful, strong person. I also understand the guilt of thinking you should have known something sooner, but we all do the best we can and cancer can sneak in very quickly no matter how diligent we try to be. I will keep you and DeDe in my thoughts and prayers and hope that this does not turn out to be cancer.

  4. Oh no these are the times we really dread with our precious ones…we will keep a positive thought for you all, and hope the best for sweet DeDe…there is not much I can say as we have all felt the place you are in now and it is soul destroying…….in our thoughts and prayers love and hugs ..really big hugs Bev xxxx

  5. Oh no! The poor baby! That’s terrible! I’m so sorry to hear this! I’m hoping all goes well with the sweet little girl! All the best!! I’ll be praying for you that it’s benign. xoxo

  6. Oh no, I’m so sorry. We hope it is something else but from the way your write, it doesn’t appear to be the case. You can’t blame yourself as us pets do everything we can to hide the fact that we are ill. We hope she isn’t in pain and will be with you for a long time.

  7. Very sorry for you, Jen. And for DeDe, of course. But she will be loved, till the end. But (perhaps) saying goodbye to an animal is very difficult. I think of you all.

  8. We are sending gentle wooos for DeDe and you all. We have our paws crossed that all will be well, but we are here to help you be strong. Sending healing thoughts from Spain to you DeDe.

  9. Oh No!! This is not the news you want to hear! Let’s hope and pray that something else is to blame for this and not the C word! Jen I can understand your heartache. All we can do is send purrs and prayers for you all and especially for sweet DeDe! xoxox

  10. None of us can be our best selves without DeDe’s words of wisdom. I’m afraid we might forget how to be beautiful inside and out! Mom and I will say lots of prayers and send lots of happy, healing thoughts to all of you.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

  11. I am so saddened to have read this news. My heart goes out to you all – 4-legged and 2-legged alike. When a dog passes over, she gets to spend all day romping and playing with her long lost siblings. And at night she makes the long journey back – to sleep at the feet of her Human. I – like you – have many dogs sleeping at my feet.

  12. Enjoy today because that’s all any of us really have. So many of my blogger friends have lost a pet this year. I will pray that you are not one of them. Hugs and positive energy coming your way.

  13. Oh Jen……I’m so sad for you but as you say, there’s always hope until they say otherwise that what’s going on with DeDe is NOT cancer. She’s brave…..and Rumpy I suppose has been trying to tell you something’s not right with her as perceptive animals often do for each other. There is a pure love in her beautiful eyes – and a trusting – and she knows you are helping her as you can and if you can. We will all pray for all of you – you can believe that.

    Love, Pam (and Sam)

  14. DeDe..we are very new to your family, but know that you are all in our thoughts…and tell mum that she can cry and look high any time she wants. We often look that way over all sorts of chaoticky things going on around here…we send you our biggest hugs…Christine, Dylan and Bagheera

  15. We’re so sorry that all this scary and bad stuff is going on, Jen and DeDe. Please know that we are sending love, purrs, prayers and all good thoughts to you all. And hoping with all hope it is not cancer.

  16. Sending positive thoughts and healing energy for all of you! And prayers that Dede’s condition is not cancer, but something which will heal quickly. Jen, do not chastise yourself — cancer is so insidious that most times we cannot know it’s even there. Try to be strong. Talk to friends, to family, when you need a shoulder to lean on. Or, come to our wonderful pet blogger community. Many of us have been in a similar place of overwrought emotions and we can offer compassionate understanding if nothing else.

  17. DeDe and family, this is just heartbreaking. I am truly sorry. We have our paws crossed here that it is not as serious as you fear. We will be thinking of you, and DeDe please tell your mum not to blame herself for not noticing. It’s nobody’s fault.
    A beautiful post, sending loves! Carrie and the furry family x

  18. Everyone’s eyes are red here – allergies, and who cares what they think (so many get down during the holidays – besides so many are self centered, they’d never notice anyone else).
    Nothing is really going to make this OK. But we suffer with you. Who couldn’t knowing that smiling face despite all.
    DeDe is a gift and you graciously accepted. She rewarded freely and knew she came to the right human. This one cared and she would be treated kindly and given dignity. You gave her that gift in return.
    Rumpy may sense she will be leaving which will change everything and unsettles you. He feels powerless, but gives all of you what he can. He and Dede trust and have faith in you to do only what you are capable of – they never condemn as they know your heart. Warmth and hope sent. We know Dede is in good hands there and wrapped by the love of many.

  19. I am so sorry to hear about DeDe. I am praying you receive a Christmas miracle when you receive the final diagnosis. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, your family, and your fur family.

  20. oh Jen, i am crying reading this my heart goes out to you. ( as you know I lost both Jack and Alfie this year) sometimes being a responsible owner and doing the right thing is the hardest thing in the world. BUT the diagnosis may be brighter…if not..well..my Jack was riddled throughout with cancer but steroids masked the discomfort and made him a happy boy again until the end when nature took over…steroids can bring an extra 6 mths or so….but you may have nothing to worry about. my heart aches for you..our pets are not pets they are family, our best friends who love us unconditionally…DeDe knows how strong your love is…be brave for her like she is brave for you its the hardest part god i know this. sending you loving vibes and hugs…and my two new pups Yogi and Maddie send woofs and wags and prayers.
    much love
    Ceri xxxxxx

  21. I’m very sorry to hear this bad news about DeDe. I know you will do your very best for her as you have been doing.

  22. Oh Jen, please, don’t blame yourself! Dogs are fantastic beings who hide their pain and show their human only their unconditional love. You can soothe her pain – and only you can do this with your love and strength. If it turns out that it is C, this won’t change the fact that you had a beautiful life together and that you were for each other for many years. But still there is hope that this is something less serious. Give her loves, loves, loves! She needs it desperately!

  23. Oh my goodness…..sending the biggest furriest hugs your way to all of you!! DeDe you are strong, and so is your family! You will all make it through whatever this is, I’m sure of it! I am all teary eyed as I’m typing this, very u expected post, as I’m sure you feel the same way….I’m so sorry, pls keep us updated and warm wishes to all of you

  24. I am crying now, I am so sad so sad… I pray for you dear Dede, you are in my thoughts, and I want to believe to hear a good news. Please dear Rumpy and dear Jenny give kisses for me too, I love Dede so much, God be with you, love, nia

  25. Oh, DeDe, I hope this is benign and all will be well. You are my inspiration and you constantly remind me to smile. I also love your beauty secrets. Jen, don’t feel guilty, You have taken DeDe to the vet for her health issues and for the problems with her back legs. Cancer just creeps in. We will pray for her and you, and I will keep my paws crossed and Lynda will her fingers and toes crossed.
    Love and hugs, BJ Pup and Lynda.

  26. You didn’t see it because she didn’t want you to see it and hid it from you. Dogs do that. Mine have sometimes hidden every sign of illness until quite literally the day they suddenly died, though they must have been suffering for a long time before that. They don’t want us to know. It isn’t your failure … it’s the way it is between dogs and those they love. Take comfort in knowing how very much she loves you.

  27. Poor DeDe 😥 I’m so sad for you. I hope, too, that it turns out to be something simple and curable. If not, I know you’re in good hands surrounded by those who love you. My prayers are with you. ❤

  28. I am so very sorry to hear this news. Animals often do hide their pain very well. I have seen this many times, it is the way of the wild – part of survival, passed on to our domesticated friends. Don’t go beating yourself up. She didn’t intend for you to know any sooner. That is nature, not a flaw on your part. I hope that it turns out to be benign but if not…words will change nothing about your grief…so I send huge Wolfie hugs that involve no words just empathy. May wolf walk ever beside you and give you rest in his shadow. The Pack stands sentinal with you and where there would be howls there is silence…and hope. xx

  29. Sending you and DeDe purrs! You’ve made it through other things, we think you can do this too. Don’t worry about the red eyes and crying, that just washes out the first worries so you can focus and get to work. Let us know what happens!

  30. Awww DeDe this must be so hard on you and your family, especially during the Holidays.. but we trust you all to stay positive and get through this, you’re a strong strong bunch over there.

  31. WordPress was being naughty earlier and wouldn’t let us say anything so the hooman said a little something on facebook but now this is working whee just wanted to say; stay strong. Whee are all with you. Behind you, in front of you, at your side, where ever you need us. Whee know nothing whee say can really change anything but stay positive and remember, whatever the news, you will always do the right thing.

    Healing huggles and comforting cuddles

    Nacho, Noah, Buddy & Basil
    xxxx

  32. DeDe – you are a gorgeous and amazing dog! Sorry – struggling to type this through tears – I hope beyond hope that you will be OK! Please tell Jen not to be hard on herself. She is a wonderful human being. I’ll be thinking about you dear DeDe and sending you soooo much love. xxx

  33. Dear DeDe, you remind me so much of my Buckley — you might be his sister, but I cried so hard and was inconsolable at the vet’s office a few years ago when they took him away because he had cancer. Buckley was the sweetest, most obedient friend I ever had. He would run to me when I called his name, or when I just clapped my hands three times. I pray that the diagnosis is wrong.

  34. Oh dear. My thoughts are with you and DeDe. We, too, had an unexpected diagnosis earlier this year. Luckily, Heather kicked cancer to the curb and is seemingly healthy today. Know that no matter what the diagnosis, you and DeDe will get through this. Much love, The Scottie Mom.

  35. Oh God Jen. I hope it is not. DeDe reminds me so much of my Daisy. She has the same sweet, gentle soul. She has the same beautiful smile. Rumpy clearly knows something, but I am praying it’s not cancer.

    I am so sorry Jen. I can only send prayers and healing light. DeDe we need you here with us. Don’t have cancer. Please.

  36. Oh Jen, my heart goes out to you. DeDe is such a lucky girl to have you to love her. You will do what is right…your love for her shines throughout your blog. Please know that there are others that know what you are going through and feel for you and her. She is a loved girl, and what could ever be better than that?

  37. I was so sad to hear about this yesterday that I took it with me in my dreams. I sat in a plane together with “my” dog snuggled up under a woolen blanket. It was time to go home but the pilot was missing. I hope this is a good sign for you guys. Send you lots of love and strength.

  38. This is never easy and our hearts go out to you. We’ve been down this road before way too many times. Praying it’s not cancer. Sometimes there’s still a lot of life ahead even with slowing down (Tazzie had cancer and went on for another 3 years because it was slow growing and she was still wagging, eating, and enjoying) praying that’s the case with DeDe if the results show cancer. Praying that your heart is eased through whatever the process is with your beautiful girl. Love, Paulette

  39. Dear Jen: I am typing thru tears as I read this tonite. I will include DeDe on my prayer list…please let it be something minor…please let it be nothing!!!!
    if it is serious & DeDe’s time is limited please know you will be just wonderful a person without her as you are with her…in fact probably better!
    Mingflower taught me everything I know about kindness & patience & she made me a finer person than any Human could have…when she left me I thought I would not be the same without her….I fostered Sage-Smudge & after she was rehomed I rescued Nylablue…..what I have come to realize is that I have become an even better person with Nylablue…all that Mingflower taught me I have been able to apply to Nylablue…when Nylablue was at death’s door in October & the end was in sight I was devastated she would leave me but I felt reassured that I could carry on & take all that she & Mingy taught me & find a new kittygirl or boy to love & devote myself to…..
    At this point just love DeDe & take it 15 minutes at a time if you have to….we are here for you…so you are not alone emotionally or spiritually.
    I wish I could just hug you…so here is a cyber {{{{{HUG}}}}} from me.
    Love & prayers Sherri-Ellen xoxo

  40. Our prayers and thoughts are with you and DeDe who is always so happy and inspiring. This is not something so serious but something that can be helped and cured. That DeDe will have a merry Christmas with all you, her family.

  41. I am so sorry about your precious baby! We have had similar experiences with our precious babies over the years. It isn’t easy but it has always been my pleasure to be of whatever comfort and help that I could.

    1. She has a good appetite. She has some difficulty walking, but is able to do so. There is another tumor, making it 4 now. I’m still waiting for the pathology results.

      1. you have been on my mind…funny how we bloggers grow to care about each others doggy worries. prayers and hugs and love for little DeDe and for you x

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