Flavored Crust? Leave My Pizza Bones Alone

Dear pizza restaurants: What have you got against dogs?

Why are pizza restaurants anti-dog?
Why are pizza restaurants anti-dog?


It’s true that most humans don’t eat the crust ends of the pizza. But that’s because those pieces are supposed to go to the dog! I mean, duh! Why do you think they call them “Pizza Bones?”

So now it’s all about adding “flavor” to the crust by slathering garlic-and herb-flavored grease all over the ends. Or making a pretzel crust. Or dipping the ends in sauce.

Well cut it out, will ya?

Dem bones, dem bones, dem... pizza bones!
Dem bones, dem bones, dem… pizza bones!

If the humans start eating the pizza bones, then what’ll us dogs do? Beg for bites of pepperoni? That spicy stuff isn’t good for our tummies. Neither is the marinara sauce. And PULEEZE don’t be feeding us onions or mushrooms! Those things can be poisonous for us!

Yes, I know pizza bones aren’t healthy for dogs. I get that. They aren’t healthy for humans either. The health benefit doesn’t improve when they’re stuffed with cheese.

So to Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Papa John’s, and all the rest, I speak on behalf of dogs everywhere when I say, LEAVE THE BONES ALONE!!!!


Now, if you’re not gonna eat that, I’ll gladly take it off your hands.


37 thoughts on “Flavored Crust? Leave My Pizza Bones Alone

  1. Rumpy I feel with ya…. the last pizza we had was without spices and crap on the crust… but guess what? the crust was folded and all that stuff was inside of the crust… :o( how mean…

  2. Rumpy, I didn’t even realize the pizza makers were doing this! Here in NY most pizza crusts seem to be of the traditional variety. Some very thoughtful humans throw pizza bones on the sidewalk for me to find, but my People won’t let me eat them. It doesn’t stop me from trying, though!

      1. Some of our pizza is real, and some of it not-very-good, cardboard crust, by-the-slice pizza. But I am not too picky, and the citizens of NY are very generous in scattering their pizza bones all over the sidewalk.

  3. These are the chain-store, mass market pizza franchises. Places like Domino’s and Papa John’s. Any true self respecting local pizza place, makes and sells pizza. If the chef’s name isn’t the name on the door, it ain’t real pizza.

      1. We have a place called Caruso’s. Family owned and operated for 3 generations. You go in there, and Grampa Caruso seats you. If you can only do one thing before you die, go to Caruso’s and have a pizza.

      1. We don’t need no pepperoni
        We don’t need no Dover Sole
        Keep the lettuce and the tomato
        Hey! Mister!
        Leave my bones alone
        (with apologies to Pink Floyd)

  4. You tell ’em, Rumpy – we will stand with you – we love those pizza bones too.

    Woos – Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

  5. We have Pizza Hut and Domino’s here in Japan, too but never heard of Papa John’s….because we don’t eat pizza often, we had never fed it to Kevin, but I’m sure if he had smelled it, he would have been eager to have it! 🙂

  6. Haha, now I know what they’re called, “pizza bones”! I agree, Haley likes hers plain without the special fillings or spices on top.

  7. Really? i didn’t know that pizza bones was an official thing. Haha, but anyway, me also lovin the pizza bones that dogs want to. But when i do, i will give it to my lovies. 😀

  8. It took me a little while to catch on to what you all were saying. I think the flavored crust is a brilliant idea. There are so many people that do not eat the crust because it is plain. I think that it helps save money because now you don’t have to buy cheese bread or breadsticks. You can just have a delicious crust after eating a great pizza.

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