Why You Should Skip the Holiday Gatherings and Go Skiing Instead

And just like that it’s time to start dreading that most perfect, and perfectly awful, of times- the holiday season.

For those of you who will spend the next two months in a euphoric stupor of holiday magic, this post is not for you. Move along, please.

found at IronChefsWorld.com
found at IronChefsWorld.com
As for the rest of you, show of hands. How many will be seeing their doctor for a prescription for Xanax sometime in the next two weeks? Already starting a regimen of Prilosec? Volunteering to be on call at work for the holidays?

Of course you are.

But I have a better idea. Skip the drama and instead do something you’d REALLY like.

Otherwise be prepared for two months of shopping and spending, deep cleaning and decorating, and cooking- LOTS and LOTS of cooking.

And for what? The big day comes for you to show off all your hard work and no one notices. Why? They’re too busy avoiding your mother-in-law and her endless proselytizing. Your uncle is boring everyone to tears with his latest conspiracy theories. They’re oohing and aahing over your kid’s new pup who comes into your home and immediately pisses on that freshly cleaned carpet.

Look, your mother-in-law is convinced Kim Davis is a saint, and nothing will change her mind. Challenge her and she’ll double down on her insistence she’s right and then begin praying aloud for that demon inside of you to be forced out.

Beware of relatives bearing gifts from The Dark Side.
Beware of relatives bearing gifts from The Dark Side.
And you’ll never convince your uncle there’s no one in the government smart enough to keep those Roswell aliens secret from the rest of us for this long. No, his belief system is as intricate as it is nonsensical.

Folks, you know what I’m saying is true. And I have science to back it up. Seems there ARE some smart people out there studying human beings to find out why we’re so insistent that climate change is a hoax and believe immigrants are sending our country to hell in a handbasket. James Kuklinski of Illinois Urbana- Champagne calls it the “I know I’m right” syndrome.


So how about this year you give up the fantasy that THIS TIME those loose cannons will behave themselves and use the money you’d blow on another miserable family celebration to do something you’d REALLY like!

Besides, it’ll give your mother-in-law something to pray about.

15 thoughts on “Why You Should Skip the Holiday Gatherings and Go Skiing Instead

  1. oh my I wish,lucky for me I only have christmas no thanksgiving,but I have already said I’m not cooking for christmas,so we are having a quiet one just me,Speedy and the hubby…bliss!xx Rachel

  2. I am so dreading the holiday season. For Thanksgiving, the family celebration is the following Saturday because my brother has to work Thursday night./Friday morning. So I get to eat dried out turkey, because she (his wife) overcooks it, and cold veggies, because she cannot time everything to be done at the same time.

    I will spend the actual Thanksgiving with friends and the meal with them is wonderful. The turkey is moist and everything is hot. This meal I look forward to.

    On Christmas, every year I tell people that I do not want gifts, please donate the money you spend to either the Manchester Animal Shelter or St. Judes Hospital. For me this is the true meaning of Christmas. Do they listen, no. I end up getting crap I do not want or need. I have more Cat or Moose mugs than I have space for and more dish towels with cats that I need. Last year I got a Moose wall clock. It is still in the box. I have no use for a wall clock. I have enough clocks already. So this year I will again smile and say thank you and probably hang onto the gift for a couple of years and then throw it out. Not to worry, my brother and his wife do not like my landlord, so they do not come down to visit and besides, I do not invite them down.

    Wow – you sure touched a sore spot with me, so please bring on the Prozac. I am going to need them to get through the holiday season.

    1. Well how about taking all those mugs and dish towels and donate them to a local shelter yard sale? Surely one in your area will gear up for that this spring, and that’ll give you reason to enjoy yet another gift you couldn’t use. At least somebody will. Actually, I could use some new dish towels. Wanna trade?

  3. oh I hear ya and I wish I could do what I want. what I really want. we tried to escape once to kenia over the howl-i-days… where a santa greeted us and where they played christmas songs in the howltel lobby without a break… butt hey to decorate a palm tree with candles and garlands is a cool idea….aaaaah :o(((

      1. they meant it well and thought we will miss a thing without a christmas tree :o((( butt the punch was great, I only needed one glass to come over all that jingle bells in a howly night LOL

  4. This year we will just skip the xmas and new year celebrations and head away – skiing is not on our cards – however black forrest or the northsea are on offer… guess that says it all as to what we think about the forthcoming season 😀 🐾 🐺

  5. I hate the holiday season. First, I hate shopping and trying to figure out what I should get people. Last year my brother-in-law told me I got him the same sweater as I did the year before. I said I was sorry and he said, “No, I love the sweater and it’s a different color.” I felt a little better.

    For Thanksgiving we go to my sister’s tennis club. The food is delicious and because it’s a restaurant there’s no bickering. Christmas is a different story. We order platters and no one cooks. There’s no bickering, it’s just a pain. What makes matters worse, it it’s not my holiday, it’s there’s.

    1. As you can see, you’re far from alone in disliking the holidays. So why is it we keep trying to force ourselves into these holiday molds we obviously don’t fit inside?

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