You weird me out.
I’m not sure what it is about you that bothers me the most.
Perhaps it’s the way you make a point of standing out in your yard watching me without being obvious about watching me whenever I’m outside. Sometimes it’s when I come home from work. Sometimes It’s when I’m out with Rumpy. Last week it was at 5:30 in the morning. I used to say hello to you. Sometimes you replied; most times you didn’t. I don’t even bother to speak to you anymore, though I have shot you a bird underhandedly a few times.
Maybe it’s the way you try to endear yourself to me. Like when you offered to spray the hell out of some weeds in my yard with high-powered pesticides. Or when you used your leaf blower at the front of my yard, though I think that was more to see what I was doing rather than be helpful.
Or maybe it’s the way you ran out to mow your yard yesterday once I began mowing mine. I guess the bandanna on your head and the sunglasses was to make you look cool. I was not impressed. I’m sure your wife wasn’t either when she drove up and saw you out there. She sure didn’t LOOK happy.
But I think it was probably when I moved my car to the side of the house to wash it in an area where you couldn’t see me, so you got in your truck and drove around the block so you could see what I was doing, that made me cringe.
Some of my readers will say I am imagining all this. Besides, why would a married man blatantly stalk his neighbor right under his wife’s nose?
Let me be perfectly clear when I say you have nothing I want, and I have done nothing to make you think otherwise.
So cut the stalking behaviors, asshole. I’m onto you, and I’m not going to just take your crap.