Vegans look so happy, so healthy, and so content in photos.
But even those of us who refuse to eat anything with a face have our dirty little secrets.
What is so rotten about vegan eating?
OK, so not veganism, but the gas you get from all those healthy veggies and beans does! At least, it affects me that way.
So I eat my healthy breakfast and healthy lunch, then come 2pm I feel that familiar rumbling. Oh man! Not again!
And let me tell you that in the 15-story building I work there is NO place a person can go to just let off a little steam! Hell, we can’t even take a poop in privacy. I sometimes walk in the multi-stall restroom and immediately hear a flush but see no movement. That’s the sign somebody’s busy and isn’t quite done, but is too embarrassed to continue in my presence. So I either leave and go to another floor to use the restroom or hurry up and do what I’ve come to do.
Sometimes in the evening I get some intense gas, which leads to some intense farting. I don’t mind it then. I like to fart. Not in a sexual, eproctophilia-kinda way (yes, there are people who get off on smelling other folks’ farts). But after the build-up, the release can feel mighty satisfying.
So what works for you to relieve the gas? Are you an au naturale person who simply lets it rip, or do take something to relieve the pressure? And don’t tell me probiotics, because they give me gas even worse! Ugh!
And as an aside to you employers who keep harping on your employees to get healthier so your insurance costs will not keep going up: Give your folks a place to poop in private! You wouldn’t believe the stress that is causing your employees!