Vegans Have a Stinky Secret!

Vegans look so happy, so healthy, and so content in photos. 

But even those of us who refuse to eat anything with a face have our dirty little secrets.

What is so rotten about vegan eating?

It stinks!

from, who attributes to public domain

OK, so not veganism, but the gas you get from all those healthy veggies and beans does! At least, it affects me that way.

So I eat my healthy breakfast and healthy lunch, then come 2pm I feel that familiar rumbling. Oh man! Not again!

And let me tell you that in the 15-story building I work there is NO place a person can go to just let off a little steam! Hell, we can’t even take a poop in privacy. I sometimes walk in the multi-stall restroom and immediately hear a flush but see no movement. That’s the sign somebody’s busy and isn’t quite done, but is too embarrassed to continue in my presence. So I either leave and go to another floor to use the restroom or hurry up and do what I’ve come to do.

Sometimes in the evening I get some intense gas, which leads to some intense farting. I don’t mind it then. I like to fart. Not in a sexual, eproctophilia-kinda way (yes, there are people who get off on smelling other folks’ farts). But after the build-up, the release can feel mighty satisfying.

by Josh Freydkis for

So what works for you to relieve the gas? Are you an au naturale person who simply lets it rip, or do take something to relieve the pressure? And don’t tell me probiotics, because they give me gas even worse! Ugh!

And as an aside to you employers who keep harping on your employees to get healthier so your insurance costs will not keep going up: Give your folks a place to poop in private! You wouldn’t believe the stress that is causing your employees!



28 thoughts on “Vegans Have a Stinky Secret!

  1. Haha this post cracked me up! I think we have all been there whether we want to admit it or not. Have you ever tried digestive enzymes? My husband and I joke that we have to take our “fart pills” especially before a big beany or broccoli laden dinner! Which is almost every day.. Haha. It does seem to help! Probiotics will make you gassy at first but might help in the long run if you can hold out 🙂

  2. hahahaha I know… my aunt once offered veggie chips at a family meeting to please me and the girlfriend of my cousin…. that chips were bombs, the whole family had to bear embarrassing moments…. but now they know that veggie life is friggin funny :O)

  3. You hit the nail on the head with the bathroom protocol. When I worked the bathroom was a 2 seater. If it were not for metal slats between them you could hug the other person they were that close. I always turned the noisy fan on but it doesn’t cover the noise or odor. When the other person left the room, all hell broke loose! I always love those bathrooms in hotels and nice restaurants where your have a room with a door to the floor. The absolute worst are the pizza shops with a unisex john but is disgusting.

  4. Why are there no proper washrooms with enclosed stalls for privacy? This is not Outer India in the backwoods is it?? (NO offence to India; Love the place, not their bathrooms!)
    I have nothing to offer for flatulence other than I take Children’s Cherry Kaopectate to help with gas & diarrhea….TMI…sorry 😦
    Sherri-Ellen & Siddhartha Henry ❤ ❤

      1. I add to my food, since I enjoy the flavors. Usually I add to my breakfast grits (since I like savory cereal) and that seems to be sufficient for me. 😉 xoM

  5. As a vegetarian, I can totally relate. When the gas pressure becomes painful, I eat a couple pieces of pickled ginger…that stuff is magic! It got me through some afternoons at work hell too. And you’re right, office bathrooms are the pits in the privacy department.

  6. Charcoal tablets soak up the gas, if you take enough of them. As long as you don’t mind your poop looking like coal!

  7. Ha! Not much of a secret for anyone who does share an office toilet with a vegan! I was shocked by the aroma of a stall-mate, back when I was 19. “I thought they were supposed to be healthier? She smells of deaaaaaath!”

    We have a handicapped toilet at my work. It is kinda used as the poop room. I am entirely grateful as I have IBS.

    1. I wish we have that. I did find a single-seater downstairs, but it’s in the break room! Who wants to do that near folks eating their lunch?!?!?

    1. It’s starting to get better for me. I still get that afternoon gas thing going on, but it’s not as urgent. However, healthier foods does equal more pooping! LOL

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