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I Watched the Debate. I Saw Myself.

I watched the presidential debate.

And I am still hurt by what I heard and saw.


from clipartkid.com

To be clear, this entire campaign has been painful to watch. The racism, xenophobia, and sexism demonstrated by a candidate for president of the United States has been unreal, and the fact that people support such a candidate, including members of my own inner circle, has been quite difficult to stomach.

But for me, Monday brought it all home.

The interruptions (Trump interrupted Clinton 51 times). The mansplaining (like when he tried to call Clinton wrong on stop-and-frisk). The accusations hurled at Hillary: she smiles too much (The Atlantic Editor David Frum) and her smile is condescending (Richard Grenell, former diplomat and GOP talking head), she’s over-prepared (tweet from Meet the Press), her finger-wagging (NY Times columnist Ross Douthat), her face was not attractive (Brit Hume of Fox News). I’ve had the same things happen to me many times; when I complained, I was blamed for being an uppity bitch.  

And let’s not forget all the people Trump ridiculed for being fat, which I find ironic coming from a fat man. But, I digress.


from thefemmemedia.com


I had lunch with a friend this week, and she said she didn’t understand why I had such problems with a former supervisor because she’d never had a problem with him. I’m not surprised. Not seeing gender bias for what it is is a coping mechanism. As long as I believe I’m the problem, there’s something I can do to fix it. If I accept the problem isn’t me, I have to ask myself why I remain in a place where I am treated so badly. The denial makes it difficult for other women to complain and often easier for talented women to move on. Perhaps that mass exodus of good employees is not for the reason you think it is.

For a long time I thought the problem was me, then I watched how supervisors treated other strong women.

Here’s one incident that stands out. We were having a staff meeting, and a woman in quality control agreed to speak to our work group about the QC standards by which our work was graded. The supervisor was rude, refused to make eye contact with the woman, and  one time he did engage her it was to interrupt and accuse her of misinterpreting a previous interaction in which he was rude to her. She, in turn, effectively shut him down and went on. While she talked, the male supervisor sat and worked on his laptop. As soon as the presenter finished and before she had even gotten up from her seat, the supervisor sent out an email thanking her for her presentation. His passive-aggressive actions made it look like he cared, but it was obvious he’d been typing the email instead of showing some true respect by actually listening to the presentation.

And he’s still there. 

I want to thank Hillary for showing the world the truth about gender bias. Unless you’re a damn fool (or a misogynist), there was no missing it if you bothered to watch.

I also want to thank Hillary for showing me a woman who doesn’t lie down and take it, but fights back. While it bothers me she had to prep to be “appealing” to the masses, I applaud her for doing so. I felt like she shoved it up the ass of every man whose shit I’ve had to put up with during my lifetime.

To those who continue to support that bigot whom I refuse to name: I have lost respect for many of you, and wonder how you look yourself in the mirror each morning.

I pray that son-of-a-bitch is not our next president.  

About Jen and the Furries

Hello and welcome. I’m a 50 something woman who’s probably awake when she should be sleeping. Oh, and there are animals, because who doesn’t have pets?


57 thoughts on “I Watched the Debate. I Saw Myself.

  1. Yeah, I don’t get it either. He does all the things we teach our children not to do.

    Posted by Kate Crimmins | October 2, 2016, 8:41 AM
  2. Hilary is not perfect but she is a fighter and a strong woman, I admire that. Trump is a misogynist racist con man.

    Posted by Heartafire | October 2, 2016, 9:00 AM
    • I am not perfect either. Actually, I am very suspicious of those who are “perfect.” If you’ve never made a mistake, you haven’t lived, have you?

      Posted by rumpydog | October 2, 2016, 9:06 AM
      • are you being facetious?

        Posted by Heartafire | October 2, 2016, 9:07 AM
      • No. I am serious. There are (mostly) male children in prominent families who are raised to be future president. They lead perfect lives. Never have a public scandal. They look good on paper, but if you don’t know what it’s like to screw up royally, how can you understand your constituency?

        Posted by rumpydog | October 2, 2016, 9:15 AM
  3. I applaud you! I agree with you and I am sickened by the fact that so many are overlooking facts about the man that would have ruined the career of most men and most certainly a woman’s.
    If a woman candidate for President had made an appearance, fully clothed, in a soft porn video she would have been looked upon with disgust and shamed into withdrawing from the race.
    I too have lost respect for “friends” who still feel that he is the better candidate. I ask myself, do they read the paper? Do these people look for information and FACTS on his and her track record? How do people not have doubts about this man, when the evidence of his corrupt soul is everywhere? Do they honestly believe that EVERYTHING negative reported about him is a lie??
    I am wary of Hillary, but I am terrified of a man with absolutely no control over his “raging bull” temperament.
    I fear for this country, because the permission to act out in aggressive, hateful behavior, encouraged by this man has been embraced by so many and it will be “in office” far longer than any candidate.

    Posted by zannyro | October 2, 2016, 9:26 AM
  4. Amen. Your assessment is spot on


    Posted by Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews) | October 2, 2016, 9:55 AM
  5. Actually I am more afraid now of what is happening in the US with the election than of anything that a terrorist group may do.because the one thing this world doesn’t need is a lying ,misogynist,crooked sociopath in charge of your country with is finger on the button of your nuclear weapons…because he is the one man that would launch those weapons on a whim, never mind what he would do to the economy in the US.yes Hillary is not perfect but neither was her husband when he was president and for all the person scandal he had as an president he actually did quite a good job and if anybody else had been his wife I don’t believe he would have done such a good job.
    in a less than perfect world Hillary will do a good job I think not a perfect job but a good job of being president.and on the plus side she is a lot more honest than trump about her mistakes where he is denying all of his transgressions and crooked ways and then of course how could you trust someone who has been bankrupt 6 times(2 of which he has tried to cover up) to be in charge of your economy.Very scary times right now,xx Rachel

    Posted by speedyrabbit | October 2, 2016, 11:02 AM
  6. We are watching your election from the UK with great trepidation. So many of our USA friends are saying they don’t like Trump but they don’t like Hillary either and I am afraid that apathy may rule and people will not turn out to vote for Hillary. Unfortunately xenophobic racist leaders are everywhere, one of them here just led us into the disaster that is Brexit. I am hoping and praying that the American people do not make the same mistake

    Posted by Chloe Meehan | October 2, 2016, 11:25 AM
  7. Amen to all of that, especially the last sentence. There have been many presidential candidates over the years I didn’t like, of course, but this is the first one where the thought of him getting elected scares the crap out of me.

    Posted by jank1961 | October 2, 2016, 12:18 PM
  8. I like Ms.Clinton and the harder she fights the more I respect her.

    Posted by Elizabeth Barter | October 2, 2016, 12:29 PM
  9. And now we have his rambling speech about the many people out to get him and his rant about the tax revelation. This man is not right.

    Posted by Becky | October 2, 2016, 6:12 PM
  10. I agree with you 100 percent, Jen.

    Posted by meowmeowmans | October 2, 2016, 9:07 PM
  11. I read a interview with a woman who is a supporter of Trump, she also believes that Michelle Obama is a man named Michael and their children are kidnap victims. I think his followers want someone who views the world with all the angst and negativity that they have inside of them, Until Trump you didn’t really know who those people were. Unless you dealt with someone who obviously showed their true feelings. Trump is a deeply flawed being.

    Posted by ravenhawks magazine | October 2, 2016, 9:55 PM
  12. All commentators here in Australia do nothing but ridicule this idiot..i really am astounded that he even got this far..and the vile forums with opposing voters tearing each other to shreds..no respect for your current President these people have been vile in their racism towards him..it’s one thing to argue actions and policy another to refer to him as a monkey. The sad thing is this moron will disenfranchise NATO nations…ours included and if elected could well find NATO says you know what mate you are on your own and pull our troops home. A racist mysoginist with all the class of a dog turd is not fit to be leader of the largest country in the free world…330 odd million people and this is the best they can come up with..scary shit..

    Posted by Fozziemum | October 2, 2016, 11:38 PM
    • And yet he is as close as he is to holding that office. What has the world come to? Hell, I have family members who cannot be dissuaded from voting for him. I just had to quit having dealings with them. It hurts me more than you know.

      Posted by rumpydog | October 3, 2016, 4:29 AM
      • I can only imagine..the guy is unhinged and the hatred he is espousing…i watched that debate live and it was all i could do not to book myself into a mental facility..i thought i must have lost my ability to understand ..gibberish..really confused me..but still the blinders are on and his minions rally round..I feel for you all..

        Posted by Fozziemum | October 3, 2016, 4:34 AM
      • Thank you. I pray you are immune down under. But with Britain voting for brexit and now Columbia voting against ending the war with FARC, I think the whole damn world is on the verge of implosion.

        Posted by rumpydog | October 3, 2016, 4:36 AM
      • I think we are very concerned down here as to how financial markets will react for a start..but his attitude towards allies is not good..i hope like hell common sense prevails for you all..and for us..world circling the drain..

        Posted by Fozziemum | October 3, 2016, 4:53 AM
  13. perfection! thanks for this!

    Posted by murphysmission | October 3, 2016, 12:30 AM
  14. All around the world we are praying for the same result.

    Posted by Animalcouriers | October 3, 2016, 3:53 AM
  15. Your wish is ours too. I fear for this nation (and the world, too) if he does get elected. I just want him to go away forever and rejoin his large breasted Barbie doll robots and leave thoughtful people alone. He can take his supporters with him as well.

    Posted by Tails Around the Ranch | October 3, 2016, 11:38 AM
  16. So it is ok to say to your kids a five star psychopath will be our next president because it is a woman? Theft, lies more and more lies, the wife of a rapist… and what next will you ignore ?

    Posted by melouisef | October 3, 2016, 11:47 AM
  17. I also pray Trump the Chump is NOT voted in!! Canada does not want him either!!!
    Sherri-Ellen ❤

    Posted by Nylabluesmum | October 3, 2016, 3:05 PM
  18. What seems like a million years ago I looked at both fields of candidates (I grew up Republican) and did my best to give them a fair evaluation. The religious zealots got chucked out first. I even gave Trump what I felt was a fair evaluation.

    As you know, I used to be a social worker. And in short order I got the message: florid narcissist. My best guess is that he is also a psychopath (my first choice) or a sociopath (second choice) in addition to being a narcissist. Personality disorder central. NOT what we need in a leader. Quotes fascists. Demeans women. Playground bully. Blow-hard. No substance. No ethics. No morals. Nothing. Just a big gas bag. A big, dangerous gas bag.

    On the other side I preferred Bernie because I knew that if Hillary won the nomination it would come to this form of unreasoning, mindless hatred. Bernie lost. Hillary won the nomination. Trump won his nomination.

    I have the option of supporting a compulsive liar who is a text-book misogynist as well as a florid bucket of mental health issues or a woman who is imperfect, but who has served her country with honor and distinction as (1) the first lady of Arkansas, (2) the first lady of the US, (3) two terms as a US Senator, (4) Secretary of State. She is also a supporter of animal rights.

    I agree with your analysis, although it does not go far enough. He’s incompetent to serve in any elected office and she’s the most qualified candidate who has ever run for office (and one of the most hated based on her gender).

    With his calling multiple times for her assassination I do fear for her life.

    I’m with her. I’m in Texas, so my vote won’t count. And in my part of Texas we have religious lunatics in office so my vote will not count locally, either, but I’m still voting.

    Good for you for taking a stand. You have my support.

    Posted by anotherboomerblog | October 3, 2016, 5:29 PM
  19. By the way, if it is determined that he knowingly consorted with Iran when it was a known terror state and Cuba under the embargo, he may have committed high crimes and misdemeanors that would disqualify him from the Presidency. (I was an attorney as well as a social worker). This guy is a walking time bomb.

    Posted by anotherboomerblog | October 3, 2016, 5:32 PM
  20. I hear what you are saying. I just want it to be over. Some nights I wake up trying to understand how that ‘man’ can be an actual candidate for President. I know where I am politically, but I don’t mind actual discussions about actual issues with people who have different POV’s. I happen to believe that’s how we get to the best solutions. But when the only other major party candidate is him and important issues are broken down into the most simple form with no regard for history OR considerations of the future…I just go back to work and stop listening to the ‘news’.

    Posted by mfearing | October 4, 2016, 5:03 PM
    • I guess what bothers me the most about “him” is not him so much as all the people who buy into his rhetoric. He awoke a sleeping, bigoted giant.

      Posted by rumpydog | October 5, 2016, 4:27 AM
      • I’m hoping that somehow that turns out to be a good thing…in that now it is very much exposed and very much in the open and I believe it is a morally bankrupt worldview (not to mention ridiculously non-future looking) so getting it out there in its purest form, letting the sunlight in on it so to speak, might very well lead to its continued collapse.

        Posted by mfearing | October 5, 2016, 7:01 PM
      • I like the way you think. I hope the same.

        Posted by rumpydog | October 6, 2016, 6:21 AM
  21. This Election is something the World is waiting for, when it will happen, what will happen, who will become President ?
    I pray that it will be Hillary, Women have hearts full of love and concern.
    We can always BUMP and DUMP TRUMP.

    Posted by Cattie's World | October 5, 2016, 5:35 AM
  22. I’ve been in Ireland for 11 years, voted Obama in twice from here, and hope to do the same for Clinton. I just can’t understand anyone thinking he is appropriate POTUS material. This is not a comedy skit or entertainment, which is the way he seems to treat the whole process.

    Posted by heretherebespiders | October 5, 2016, 5:13 PM
  23. You’re just mad no men want to grab you by the pussy.

    Posted by bookooball | October 29, 2016, 12:46 PM
  24. Really liked this! And only two troll responses – pretty good!

    Posted by Marg Nelson | January 8, 2017, 9:05 AM

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