My Fears for my Dog…

Rumpy’s health is on the decline.

Always by my side.

His breathing is more labored. He doesn’t eat as much as he used to. He doesn’t have the stamina he once did.

I’m afraid he may not be with me much longer.

He is an older dog and, well, none of us live forever.

But why now?

My sweet dog. 

Maybe I’m just being ridiculous. After all, I’ve thought the same of Bubba for 3 years now and he’s still hanging in there.

Maybe I’m projecting my fears of the massive changes we’re experiencing on my family.

But eventually I’m going to have to go it without him, and I’m realizing I’m not ready for that day to come. I honestly don’t think I ever will be.

I have learned Life doesn’t give a shit about what you want; it only cares about how you handle what you’ve got. I am strong. I have survived many things in my lifetime, and when the day comes to say good-bye, I believe I’ll have the courage and stamina to survive that too.

But hopefully that day is not today, so, for now, I’m going to put my fears down in writing, then dry my tears and move on.


72 thoughts on “My Fears for my Dog…

  1. Oh, it is hard having an old dog 😦 Our old boy eats less, sleeps more but still loves a walk. Keep going, Rumpy, thoughts are with you x.

  2. We totally understand your fears as Mom has always had pups since she was a young child. Pups do indeed leave this physical world sooner then their humans, but they always leave a bit of their hearts with you, in your memories and in your heart. Sadly a bit of your heart goes with them as they make their journey over the Rainbow Bridge. The pain gets better as time goes by, and the wonderful memories seem grow stronger as well. We will be keeping you and your Rumpy Dog in our thoughts and prayers that you will have many more days, weeks and years with your sweet friend.

  3. My McKinley will be nine years old the summer. She is in pretty good health but every day I look at her and think I have to enjoy this day with her because someday she’s not going to be here and someday I’m going to wake up without someone who loves me more than life itself licking my face awake. I will never be prepared for her to leave me but I would rather that she leave me before I leave her so that I can see her out and gently and with love. I’ve lost other dogs and it was never easy. I hope you have a Rumpy for a long time yet.

  4. As I watch my miniature poodle age (he just turned 14), I have the same fears and console myself similarly. It is so hard that we outlive them. Yes, we handle it, but we’d really rather not go there.

  5. Dogs deserve much longer lives – it seems they get old when they’ve hardly had time to be young. Millie is 13 now and showing signs of age. Saying that, I thought I was losing my last dog at 13 and she went on until nearly 18 – so let’s hope Rumpy has a way to go yet!

  6. I understand completely. Mac’s health is declining too but rather rapidly. His back legs won’t hold him up anymore. But, he still has a great appetite. And he seems happy enough. so, I’m keeping him comfortable as long as I can. Our furry friends leave us much too soon so treasure the time you have with them. He could be going through a spell and get better soon. (((hugs)))

  7. Some dogs are old dogs for a long time. My Phex for example had problems with his hips for years, before he finally died more or less of old age. I wish you both a long life and hope you’ll spend much more time together. It might be a bit different from the time with the puppy Rumpy. And if Rumpy’s time comes I’m sure you’ll have the strength and you’ll be wise enough. The dogs never want to leave us. They want to stay with us forever. As long as we don’t get dementia our dogs stay forever with us in our hearts.

  8. Having a pet in your life gives so much joy but because they leave this world usually a lot earlier than us also heartbreak. Rumpy will never really leave you, he is forever stamped on your heart, but watching them age, and decline is very hard. But it is a way to show them how much we really do love them, because we don’t abandone them in their old age.

  9. I can empathize, Jen. My parents and me weren’t prepared for the death of our German shepherd in 1985, and my mother and weren’t prepared for the death of my miniature schnauzer last October; which came less than 5 months after my father’s passing. There’s just no way we can prepare for the death of a loved one, even that of our four-legged children. Just understand you provided Rumpy with a great home; whereas he could have lived a life of misery with someone else.

    Best wishes and please keep us updated.

  10. Clearly, he’s already made several installments of gifting you what only animals can gift: lessons in “the moment.” But I propose to you that the final installment, while devastating and diminishing in so many, many ways, is also the greatest. It’s a moment like no other. It’s cumulative. It’s that “moment” when every miraculous detail of Rumpy–every shade of fur and every hair follicle, the pigment in his eyes, the amazing tongue, the mechanics of the wagging tail, the thousands of divisions in each pad on each paw, the liver, the kidneys, the atoms that make up the cells that call the heart to beat–the most raw yet purest of details all condensed into Rumpy will hit you like a train and you can’t catch your breath and just for a second the thought crosses your mind that that this might all be too amazing to be the “last” moment.
    The ultimate gift of “moments”–the possibility of the unknown.
    You cannot kill energy. It can be reshaped and may take on one or more different forms, but it is, literally, impossible to kill it. And I am not convinced that humans are capable of determining just how many identities dispersed energy can have. Animals awe me. The depth of my bond to them terrifies me. Their physical parts and workings fascinate me. Those I have lost have taught me to live in the moment, not knowing whether there will be a next one but looking forward to it all the same. Now, then, and after.
    He has taught you well, Jen. Take all of his teachings seriously, even the ones that would just be too good to be true. ox.

  11. Jen, I hope that Rumpy’s appetite will increase and he will get more stamina again like he used to have. I know that we can’t live with our precious dog forever and I didn’t think that Kevin left us so suddenly……I couldn’t imagine that Kevin would leave us someday seeing his lovely eyelushes…..I couldn’t believe that I would handle it…..but the day came….. I really understand how you feel now….and still I have the same fear as yours because I have four cats here now……Rumpy…..he has given me so much joy about having our life with four legs…..he is so charming….when I read todays post….somehow….I’m crying, too…..I don’t wont to have the day that Rumpy leaves us….I can’t imagine the day….well… to be honest….June Buggie and your other fur family, too…. Bubba, Hissy, Little girl, Graybie….when I knew the day DeDe left us….I couldn’t stop my tears….it’s strange because I never met her in real…..but still…I felt so sad…..down….I know that Rumpy is old…..I always feel that time flies so fast….it’s has been for more than 5years since I knew Rumpy on social media……Please Rumpy…..please stay please stay much much longer for Jen, your fur family and for your fans in the world……Love, Eriko and Angel Kevin

  12. I think you rather eloquently said exactly how we all feel about our special fur-babies. Our mental health care providers around the home and warmer of laps on cold winter nights. We are never ready until we have to. Jamima is now 15 or 16 with very hollow bits and some bony bits also. She has become fussy with food, yet sleeps contentedly all the same. I’ll never be ready. Tissue;Stat! Cheers,H

  13. They never live long enough and there is no good time. As others have said, we are never ready. Unless he has some diagnosed ailment, then he could be with you a lot longer than you think. Bishop went into decline and remained, with help from pain meds to help with the arthritis, four more years until cancer finally took him … and he was almost 15 by then. If he’s not in a lot of pain and eats, just enjoy him.

    You know, we got Gibbs when Bishop was closing in on gone and he perked up considerably. I think having a pal — another boy — gave him at least a few more months.

  14. I am so sad for what you are going through. The hope…then the fear…then hope again. I lost Guinness, my rescue back in October and I don’t think I will ever be completely over it. Even now I am tearing up. But life does go on and we bare more that we should have to. I recently in early December did what I know Guinness would have wanted me to do…I adopted another rescue who is a Chi/Terrier mix. He keeps me company now and has bonded with me because I guess he needed someone too. I will keep you and Rumpy in my prayers.God Bless both of you.

  15. We’re not ready for that either, Jen. Here’s hoping Rumpy’s with you (and by extension, all of us) for a long time to come. XO

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