you're reading...
grief, pets

Life Goes On…

Bubba is home.

He had stopped eating and was back to hiding in the bathroom closet sleeping all day. He was in a lot of pain.

My sweet boy.

I have taken his death particularly hard. Or maybe it’s the grieving the loss of four companions within the past 16 months. I feel incredibly guilty, and keep asking myself if there was more I could have done for them. What did I do wrong?

It feels so empty here.

This morning as I left for work, I watched a squirrel scamper across the road and I thought how this time last year Rumpy would have been trying to chase after. Yesterday Hissy was sitting Kitty Loaf style by the door, and for a moment I thought he was June Buggie. And each time I look inside the bathroom closet, I expect to see Bubba napping there.

But they are gone. Now there are new routines to establish.

Little Girl is my constant companion. If I am home, she is nearby. I’ve been giving lots of attention to Yella and Graybie. They are happy to oblige me. And Hissy Fit Jones? He has his moments when he wants me to hold him, and I do. He nuzzles my neck and purrs contentedly.

As for me, I am tired. Life has been particularly tough for me these past few years, and there seems no end in sight. But I only have to maintain the struggle for this day. Tomorrow will have to take care of itself.

Rest in peace, my sweet boy.

About Jen and the Furries

Hello and welcome. I’m a 50 something woman who’s probably awake when she should be sleeping. Oh, and there are animals, because who doesn’t have pets?


43 thoughts on “Life Goes On…

  1. I’m so sorry.
    I’m really glad that you have such sweet being near to comfort you.
    It’s been a rough go lately.

    Posted by Shelly Lyon | September 13, 2017, 11:09 PM
  2. I’m glad that you have companions there to comfort you. It has been a rough two years, but that doesn’t mean that it was your fault. It can’t be changed, so I hope that you can focus on what is before you. Hang in there.

    Posted by KDKH | September 13, 2017, 11:15 PM
  3. Jen, I am so sorry about all you have gone through in the recent months. From everything I have read from you and others you took and take such good care of all of your furbies. You care about them and love them. I think after we lose a pet, a family member, we all wonder if we could have done more. I would suggest that you don’t go down that road. Rumpy and the cats had an excellent life with you.

    Posted by Hi folks. It's BJ Pup | September 14, 2017, 12:34 AM
  4. I’m so sorry… it sometimes sounds unbelievable that life goes really “on” … even after such sad times…

    Posted by easyweimaraner | September 14, 2017, 12:43 AM
  5. I’m so sorry about your loss, Jen….It’s not your fault at
    all, besides they had been having lovely lives with you. They needed you in their lives. If you felt guilty, they would feel sad in heaven.
    Please don’t Jen. We all feel sad about Malachi, Rumpy, June Buggie and Bubba. Please please take care of yourself and of Hissy, Yella Fella, Little Girl and Graybie Baby.
    Love, Angel Kevin, kitties and mom.

    Posted by eripanwkevin | September 14, 2017, 2:17 AM
  6. It is very hard to try and establish a new normal after so much loss. Each day has to be lived, but gradually things settle. The ache and sadness in your heart recedes just a little and you go on living. Love those sweet furbabies. x

    Posted by CATachresis | September 14, 2017, 4:03 AM
  7. I know, I’m so sorry and grieve your loses with you. I take some solace that one day another fur-child will come into my home and make it fun-time to find where it is hiding. What secret places they like in the morning, afternoon. The putter pstter of paws on Lino to hurry to find me. And are they too late to get a pat from me when it suits them? Thinking of you. Cheers,H

    Posted by helentastic67 | September 14, 2017, 4:27 AM
  8. Our beloved pets make their mark in our hearts, and leave such a hole when they pass. My thoughts are with you, and so glad for the comfort your other babies provide. ❤

    Posted by pensitivity101 | September 14, 2017, 4:33 AM
  9. Love, tender hugs, soft purring…we think of you and the kitties and send these every day.

    Posted by Annabelle Essert (@RainbowCatsx11) | September 14, 2017, 4:45 AM
  10. Oh dear, you have really had a hard time with these shocks coming on the heels of each other. Remember… love yourself, look after yourself, you’ve done everything you possibly could.

    Posted by Animalcouriers | September 14, 2017, 5:08 AM
  11. So very sorry! It is not your fault and I bet you did all you could.

    Posted by grannyK | September 14, 2017, 5:18 AM
  12. Life does go on, which makes it that much more painful to remember. Love you ❤️

    Posted by Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews) | September 14, 2017, 5:56 AM
  13. Jen, for this I certainly have an inkling of what you are experiencing; in 2012, I lost 4 in 6 months, and a couple within the next 15 months after that, and a couple last year. It doesn’t make the losses any easier, but I know from reading your blog for a few years, each of those kiddos KNEW they were loved. Keeping you in thought and prayers during this transition and shift.

    Posted by becca givens | September 14, 2017, 6:23 AM
  14. You are such a wonderful huMom giving all of your furbabies love they could not have had without you.

    Posted by Kathy Michael | September 14, 2017, 6:32 AM
  15. Having more furbabies to take care of and love on is what keeps some of us getting up every morning.

    Posted by Mary McNeil | September 14, 2017, 7:14 AM
  16. *hugs* from all the creatures in this house — furry and not furry.

    Posted by Kate Crimmins | September 14, 2017, 7:48 AM
  17. losing a dear pet is so heartbreaking.. i could totally relate right now because i said goodbye to my feathered pet Lemon.. I still have some trouble establishing new routines since Lemon’s passing because i am used to hearing her noisy chirps and doing everyday chores feeding her. my terrace is now suddenly silent..

    Posted by elizz | September 14, 2017, 8:31 AM
  18. You have been through so much lately. Sending you lots of comforting purrs, headbutts and hugs.

    Posted by The Island Cats | September 14, 2017, 8:42 AM
  19. Jen I know how tragic it is to lose so many in such a short amount of time. I so empathize and send my warmest compassion

    Posted by Savannah's Paw Tracks | September 14, 2017, 8:59 AM
  20. I feel for you, Jen. Reading this makes my heartache. Too many losses in too short a time. Sending you my thoughts that things turn around for you. And soon.

    Posted by The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap | September 14, 2017, 9:03 AM
  21. Sorry. ♥️🐾

    Posted by Maria Appleby | September 14, 2017, 1:14 PM
  22. I am so sorry, Jen. They did have your loving care, that may be a comforting thought for you. I am missing so many kitties myself, one recent, so I know how hard it is. Hugs.

    Posted by Catwoods | September 14, 2017, 2:17 PM
  23. Jen, I wish I had the words to help ease your pain. i am so deeply, deeply sorry. Wish I could give you a hug. If you want to friend me on FB , please do. Sending love.

    Posted by Dakota/Caren/Cody | September 14, 2017, 4:04 PM
  24. I am so sorry, Bubba was a beautiful boy. You didn’t do anything wrong, you gave him a loving home. XO

    Posted by 15andmeowing | September 14, 2017, 6:02 PM
  25. It’s so hard sometimes. You were there when they needed you. And they will always be with you. “There’s more room in a broken heart….” Give yourself time. sending virtual hugs.

    Posted by Nina Scott...Molly, Johan, and Nikki | September 14, 2017, 6:24 PM
  26. what a sweet sweet picture of the twosome leaning upon one another…I feel for you and for your cat family….wish I could cheer your spirits…I know just how you feel.

    Posted by murphysmission | September 15, 2017, 4:54 AM
  27. I’m so sorry. Hugs for you.

    Posted by Paprika Furstenburg | September 15, 2017, 4:40 PM
  28. I had to put my yellow lab to sleep for several reasons and she was really not that old. I think of her every day. It’s been 32 years now.

    Posted by Carl D'Agostino | September 15, 2017, 5:53 PM
  29. Oh Jen I know how difficult this is…..I feel everyone has said what I wanted to say. You have taken such GREAT care of Bubba, Malachi, June Buggie & dear Rumpy!!! Yes they are gone physically from this earth but they live on in your heart & mind & in all your followers/friends hearts & minds. And our darlings leave their pawprints on our hearts! I still think of my 1st cat: Simpson. I was 12 1/2 when we adopted this scrawny Abbysinnian Persian mix. I was so allergic to her but I refused to give her up. She lived to be 20. You neer forget your 1st (or any of them). Let the memories comfort you & let your remaining furbabies love you all they want as you move on.
    (((hugs))) Sherri-Ellen & ***nose rubsss*** Siddhartha Henry xxxxx

    Posted by Nylabluesmum | September 15, 2017, 8:24 PM
  30. Don’t feel guilty you have been the best pet parent to all of the babies you have lost,you have loved them and given them the best care that is humanly possible and you will continues to give the best care and love to Hissy Fit Jones,Yella ,Little Girl and Graybabie.Many hugs and Much love to you Jenn,xx Rachel and Speedy

    Posted by speedyrabbit | September 16, 2017, 1:15 AM
  31. I have had a rough couple of years with a lot of death. 6 human deaths 2 I had to take off life support. For me doing that was so very hard and it really affected me and still have a had time dealing with it. 1 suicide. My cat Mary Jane who recently just passed and sounds like her and Bubba had the same symptoms. Mary was 15 years old. My emotions are very raw right now. I had to refrain from doing a lot of my posting about animals because I get to sad to easy. Those emotions really need a break. My concentration is really bad. On the up side I get up everyday and take a look at the positive and concentrate on that. I saved a relatives dogs that had passed and the whole transition went smoother that I thought it was going to. To me that was a big deal to make this work. I have a wonderful son who supports me in my caring for the animals. I have a roof over my head and even though I am not well off we all are comfortable, safe and I manage to provide everything we need. I really miss all my family members that passed and after living with Mary Jane for 15 years it has not been easy. I look more at how so very lucky I am to have had her in my life.

    Posted by sassybrat1904 | September 16, 2017, 11:53 AM
  32. I am so sorry to hear this, you are really going through it. I know you don’t feel like it at times but you will survive this, you will continue to put one foot in front of the other, because you are a kick ass, inspirational woman and it will somewhere, some time get easier X

    Posted by 25castleson25clouds | September 22, 2017, 1:45 PM
  33. Jen, only just read this. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I’m not sure how I can message you. Please know that our love and prayers are with you. It truly is a tough time.

    Posted by Georgie a.k.a. Max's Mum | September 24, 2017, 5:19 AM
  34. We’re so sorry, Jen. I meant to stop by sooner, but then we lost of sweet housepanther, Zoe. I wish there were something I could say or do that would help ease your pain and grief, but know there is not. Please just know we are thinking of you, and sending all good thoughts your way. Thank you for loving Bubba so much, and so well.

    Posted by meowmeowmans | September 24, 2017, 10:49 AM
  35. Im sorry , our pets are part of our family . Thank God for them

    Posted by Margaret Rowling | September 26, 2017, 6:04 AM
  36. I’m so sorry!! I’m sorry I didn’t notice before. I wish everyday gets easy and that the grief left you with the reassurance that you have the best life to them. And allow us to be part of it and know them a bit.
    Take care

    Posted by Bluejellybeans | September 27, 2017, 10:16 AM
  37. You must not believe the voice telling you that you could have done more because you did SO much more than most EVER would. Bubba was lucky to have met you. Fact.

    Posted by TheFeatheredSleep | November 16, 2017, 4:24 PM

What would you like to add to the conversation? Bark at me in a comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Want me to email you when I upload a new post? Then click here.

Join 9,133 other followers

Follow us on Twitter!

%d bloggers like this: