Life Goes On…

Bubba is home.

He had stopped eating and was back to hiding in the bathroom closet sleeping all day. He was in a lot of pain.

My sweet boy.

I have taken his death particularly hard. Or maybe it’s the grieving the loss of four companions within the past 16 months. I feel incredibly guilty, and keep asking myself if there was more I could have done for them. What did I do wrong?

It feels so empty here.

This morning as I left for work, I watched a squirrel scamper across the road and I thought how this time last year Rumpy would have been trying to chase after. Yesterday Hissy was sitting Kitty Loaf style by the door, and for a moment I thought he was June Buggie. And each time I look inside the bathroom closet, I expect to see Bubba napping there.

But they are gone. Now there are new routines to establish.

Little Girl is my constant companion. If I am home, she is nearby. I’ve been giving lots of attention to Yella and Graybie. They are happy to oblige me. And Hissy Fit Jones? He has his moments when he wants me to hold him, and I do. He nuzzles my neck and purrs contentedly.

As for me, I am tired. Life has been particularly tough for me these past few years, and there seems no end in sight. But I only have to maintain the struggle for this day. Tomorrow will have to take care of itself.

Rest in peace, my sweet boy.

43 thoughts on “Life Goes On…

  1. I’m glad that you have companions there to comfort you. It has been a rough two years, but that doesn’t mean that it was your fault. It can’t be changed, so I hope that you can focus on what is before you. Hang in there.

  2. Jen, I am so sorry about all you have gone through in the recent months. From everything I have read from you and others you took and take such good care of all of your furbies. You care about them and love them. I think after we lose a pet, a family member, we all wonder if we could have done more. I would suggest that you don’t go down that road. Rumpy and the cats had an excellent life with you.

  3. I’m so sorry about your loss, Jen….It’s not your fault at
    all, besides they had been having lovely lives with you. They needed you in their lives. If you felt guilty, they would feel sad in heaven.
    Please don’t Jen. We all feel sad about Malachi, Rumpy, June Buggie and Bubba. Please please take care of yourself and of Hissy, Yella Fella, Little Girl and Graybie Baby.
    Love, Angel Kevin, kitties and mom.

  4. It is very hard to try and establish a new normal after so much loss. Each day has to be lived, but gradually things settle. The ache and sadness in your heart recedes just a little and you go on living. Love those sweet furbabies. x

  5. I know, I’m so sorry and grieve your loses with you. I take some solace that one day another fur-child will come into my home and make it fun-time to find where it is hiding. What secret places they like in the morning, afternoon. The putter pstter of paws on Lino to hurry to find me. And are they too late to get a pat from me when it suits them? Thinking of you. Cheers,H

  6. Oh dear, you have really had a hard time with these shocks coming on the heels of each other. Remember… love yourself, look after yourself, you’ve done everything you possibly could.

  7. Jen, for this I certainly have an inkling of what you are experiencing; in 2012, I lost 4 in 6 months, and a couple within the next 15 months after that, and a couple last year. It doesn’t make the losses any easier, but I know from reading your blog for a few years, each of those kiddos KNEW they were loved. Keeping you in thought and prayers during this transition and shift.

  8. losing a dear pet is so heartbreaking.. i could totally relate right now because i said goodbye to my feathered pet Lemon.. I still have some trouble establishing new routines since Lemon’s passing because i am used to hearing her noisy chirps and doing everyday chores feeding her. my terrace is now suddenly silent..

  9. I am so sorry, Jen. They did have your loving care, that may be a comforting thought for you. I am missing so many kitties myself, one recent, so I know how hard it is. Hugs.

  10. It’s so hard sometimes. You were there when they needed you. And they will always be with you. “There’s more room in a broken heart….” Give yourself time. sending virtual hugs.

  11. Oh Jen I know how difficult this is…..I feel everyone has said what I wanted to say. You have taken such GREAT care of Bubba, Malachi, June Buggie & dear Rumpy!!! Yes they are gone physically from this earth but they live on in your heart & mind & in all your followers/friends hearts & minds. And our darlings leave their pawprints on our hearts! I still think of my 1st cat: Simpson. I was 12 1/2 when we adopted this scrawny Abbysinnian Persian mix. I was so allergic to her but I refused to give her up. She lived to be 20. You neer forget your 1st (or any of them). Let the memories comfort you & let your remaining furbabies love you all they want as you move on.
    (((hugs))) Sherri-Ellen & ***nose rubsss*** Siddhartha Henry xxxxx

  12. Don’t feel guilty you have been the best pet parent to all of the babies you have lost,you have loved them and given them the best care that is humanly possible and you will continues to give the best care and love to Hissy Fit Jones,Yella ,Little Girl and Graybabie.Many hugs and Much love to you Jenn,xx Rachel and Speedy

  13. I have had a rough couple of years with a lot of death. 6 human deaths 2 I had to take off life support. For me doing that was so very hard and it really affected me and still have a had time dealing with it. 1 suicide. My cat Mary Jane who recently just passed and sounds like her and Bubba had the same symptoms. Mary was 15 years old. My emotions are very raw right now. I had to refrain from doing a lot of my posting about animals because I get to sad to easy. Those emotions really need a break. My concentration is really bad. On the up side I get up everyday and take a look at the positive and concentrate on that. I saved a relatives dogs that had passed and the whole transition went smoother that I thought it was going to. To me that was a big deal to make this work. I have a wonderful son who supports me in my caring for the animals. I have a roof over my head and even though I am not well off we all are comfortable, safe and I manage to provide everything we need. I really miss all my family members that passed and after living with Mary Jane for 15 years it has not been easy. I look more at how so very lucky I am to have had her in my life.

  14. I am so sorry to hear this, you are really going through it. I know you don’t feel like it at times but you will survive this, you will continue to put one foot in front of the other, because you are a kick ass, inspirational woman and it will somewhere, some time get easier X

  15. Jen, only just read this. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I’m not sure how I can message you. Please know that our love and prayers are with you. It truly is a tough time.

  16. We’re so sorry, Jen. I meant to stop by sooner, but then we lost of sweet housepanther, Zoe. I wish there were something I could say or do that would help ease your pain and grief, but know there is not. Please just know we are thinking of you, and sending all good thoughts your way. Thank you for loving Bubba so much, and so well.

  17. I’m so sorry!! I’m sorry I didn’t notice before. I wish everyday gets easy and that the grief left you with the reassurance that you have the best life to them. And allow us to be part of it and know them a bit.
    Take care

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