Hissy’s Turn…

Dear Man in a Furry Red Suit,

HFJ
photo enhanced at piZap.com, because there is no way in hell Hissy would ever agree to such a photo shoot

My name is Hissy Fit Jones, and I don’t like you.

Last year I told you not to come to my house. 

This year, before I say anything, I have a few questions to raise.

First of all, why don’t people think it’s creepy that a grown man is sneaking into the homes of children in the middle of the night? How will I know it’s really you and not Roy Moore pretending to be you?

Second, you wear a red fur suit. Really? And just where do you get that red fur, Santa? I have red fur, and I would like to keep it.

And are you sure you’re not over-working the elves and reindeer! Are those elves free to leave whenever they want? Where do they live? How much are they paid? Do they have health insurance?

I know everyone says you’re wonderful, but in this day and age I find that the word of others is simply not good enough. I don’t want feel-good movies on the Hallmark Channel. I want the truth, and I want to hear it from you.

That’s what I want for Christmas.

Sincerely,

Hissy Fit Jones

 

18 thoughts on “Hissy’s Turn…

  1. Dear Hissy, you’re too grown up to be so cynical. No one has ever accused Santa of inappropriate behavior. Leave him some cookies and see what happens in the morning. Merry Christmas to you and Jen and the rest of the gang.

  2. Hi Hissy, if you know the truth from Mr Santa, please write about it on your blog! We want to know the truth, too!
    Happy Christmas to you! 🙂

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