Yella Fella here calling out around the world for HELP!!!
You see, that mean old vet doctor said I had to lose weight, and now I’m on a diet! Jen feeds me twice a day and watches me like a hawk during both meals so I don’t try to sneak off and eat somebody else’s foods. She doesn’t give me treats the way she used to. And to add insult to injury, she has learned to sleep through my most pitiful cries.
Her heart has suddenly turned to stone. I accused her to turning into a Fox News fanatic, but then I remembered we don’t have cable and I had to take it back.
I have tried everything I know to do to keep myself from starvation. I’ve been climbing the cat tree looking for food hidden on the highest levels. I’ve turned to licking the floor. I’ve even lowered my standards to drinking water!
This torture Jen has inflicted on me has already resulted in my losing two pounds, but the vet says I need to lose six more! I don’t think I’ll last that long! Already I’ve developed inflammation in my eyes, which resulted in yet another visit to that horrible vet doctor. This time, though, it’s Jen’s fault. She mowed her mom’s yard, and the vet thinks I’m allergic to something in Granma’s yard cuz two days later both my eyes were red and one was swollen and oozy. Yuck! So now I not only have to starve, but I also have to suffer the torture of having eye drops administered three times a day. That’s practically water torture, people!!!!
I’m not the only cat suffering. Graybie and Little Girl are being force-fed medication. While there have been no more toileting accidents outside the litter box, and no more knock-down, drag-out fights between those two, there have also been things going on that just aren’t natural. For instance, Little Girl actually gave Graybie a few licks on the face yesterday! Jen locks Little Girl in solitary confinement for a few hours each day and she forces Graybie and Little Girl to have an instance of close contact at least once daily.
As for Hissy, he’s being forced to eat his own cat food now. No longer is he allowed to steal bites from mine or Graybie’s bowl. He don’t like it, but after he snuck and got a dose of Graybie’s medicine, he decided he’d never do that again.
So you see, Dear Reader, while these photos may make you THINK we’re all doing well, the truth is we are all in great distress and in desperate need of HELP!
But don’t call the police. Just send treats. In care of me.
Dogpaddling Through Life 
Glad the kitties are doing ok even though they are starving. ;-]
I suppose it’s all a matter perspective 🙁
2 pounds off is a big hunk of weight. Just look at it this way–after 6 more come off you won’t be on a diet any more. And gobbling that dose of medicine although it probably tasted poopy did work to deter Hissy. Sorry it tasted badly or that the mowing caused eye allergies. Hoping that this next week is a good one.
I will try to hang in there- for my readers’ sake.
There is nothing more tragic than a cat on a diet except on pudgy Norwich terrier on a diet. Oh the pathos. The agony. When my son had a temper tantrum, my neighbor said “Turn up the stereo.”
It helped. Music. It always helps.
Yella’s cries of woe are quite melodic… in an annoying sort of way.
You poor kitty. Tomorrow is ginger appreciation day, I hope you can have some treats.
I’m not feeling at all appreciated! 🙁
Lol
>
🙀
Two pounds down! Wowser! The diet is working. Stick to it!
What? Are you kidding me?
You are a Drama King. It seems that Jen has her hands full with the gang. You’re doing very well on your diet. Just think, when you’ve lost the six pounds you’ll be able to climb faster and higher. Give Jen a break. She wants you to be healthy and live a long life. Being overweight can very likely prevent that.
You must watch Fox News too.
Ask Mumma-Jen to put a pair of black slacks on the couch as per Sad Cat Diaries teacheings. Maybe it will sooth your soul while you sleep off that last kilos. Cheers,H
Good idea!
I feel for you my friend I have been on a diet forever……….xx Speedy
We must lodge a formal protest with our governments… not that either would go anywhere.
Time for Pirate’s on the rampage?xx Speedy
Stick with it Yella it will be worth it 💜💜💜
But! But! I’m more of a Live for the Day kinda kitty! 😉
Behave Yella!!
Just think of the reward you’ll get when you’ve lost those extra pounds!!!
Seriously, I sympathise.
If you really do, you’ll send Friskies Party Mix- preferably the Western flavor.
I can do it by proxy as it might be a problem from the UK. Mine would be calorie free though (every little bit helps)
Oh, you poor baby. We will gladly send you some treats. What kind of lettuce do you like best? (We can’t help you break your diet. Sorry.)
Lettuce???? 🙀
Congrats on the minus two. The next two (times 3) hopefully will get easier. Good luck. 😉
Ha ha ha! We’ve gone deaf 😀
Oh, I am glad that Graybie and Little Girl are doing better. I always wonder how to get one cat to lose weight and one to gain. Yella Fella, hang in there. You will feel much better being eight pounds lighter.