Christmas Trees and Self-Esteem

I have up a Christmas tree.

It’s a 3-foot flimsy job I ordered on Amazon. It came with a bent stem that I broke while trying to fix it, but I was able to fix up the little guy with some wire so it will stand through this holiday season at least. 

I savor the spirit of Christmas, but not the commercialism. This whole thing of having the best at Christmas is so boring. The huge tree. Multiple trees. The most outdoor lights. The best-wrapped gifts. The special holiday dishes that are used only once per year. Yawn.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you to have all of those things. I’m more than willing to drive past your house and ooh and aah at your decorations, and I know many of you share your festive lights with the rest of us out of love. 

I am displaying this flimsy Christmas tree this year because I deserve it. I’ve not put up trees in the past. I always said it was because I didn’t want the furries to knock it down. But that’s not the real reason. I didn’t put up a tree because it was just me, and I didn’t feel I was was worth the hassle. 

My deformed little tree is decorated with craft ornaments I cross-stitched 20 years ago. Half of the string of lights is not working, but enough are to cover this tiny thing. 

Maybe next year I’ll go for a bigger model. One that I can cover with lots of gaudy baubles for the cats to bat at and hide from me. 

But for this year, a tiny, leaning tree held together with wire symbolizes a big breakthrough for me. 

14 thoughts on “Christmas Trees and Self-Esteem

  1. Nice post. I have ornaments for our tree from my childhood and things we’ve collected over the years. Our little tree is only a foot tall, made for us by my niece some 26 years ago but last year we bought a bigger one as we had the room. It’s still not huge though, just three feet tall I think, and we need a new fairy for the top as our original paper one lost her head.
    We don’t like the commercialism either and it will be a quiet Christmas for us as we have no family to visit now to deliver presents. It will be great, how we like it, just us and Maggie.

  2. I love you little tree. Your deformed sweet tree. Held together with wires. It is my kind of tree, just like me—imperfect , nothing compared to the big fancy stuff but it’s from the heart. I’m so glad you shared it and for your breakthrough. ❤️

  3. I love your tree. It’s so hard to live with depression, especially during the holidays. My husband and I don’t do gifts for each other. And I haven’t put up a tree since 2014 when my Cooper dog died. He loved to lay by the tree and just stare contentedly at the lights.
    I’m glad you put up your little tree.
    To me, it symbolizes that even if broken, we can still contribute beauty to the world.

  4. we have weird ones or non-christmas trees every year… life is anyway always a race so I haven’t to ruin the pre christmas time with an extra challenge while running for dekorations and gifts ;O)

  5. The whole commercialism thing is way too stimulating and overwhelming. And the gaudy greediness of it all fills me with shame especially when there is so much angst and heartache these days. I’m of the mindset it would be better to feed the hungry, clothe the cold and really display the spirit of Christmas, not the commercialism.

  6. We think your tree is just wonderful. If it makes you happy and the kitties too that is all that matters. We love having little trees ourselves. The big ones were it’s hard to take care of and pine needles all over the piece. We like to keep it simple just like you. Thanks for the share. Have a wonderful day.

  7. I think it’s awesome that you have a tree this year, Jen. Yes. You deserve to have one, because you are awesome. We appreciate you lots.

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