I recently met a man for dinner.
This is not a small thing; it’s the first recent date I’ve had. I thought it went well, but I thought wrong. I haven’t heard from him since.
Social interactions, especially in dating situations, confuse and frustrate me. I used to think there was something seriously wrong until I was introduced to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I’m not weird; I’m just different. I’m an INTJ, a fairly rare type, especially in women. I seek meaning in things. I’m decisive and hold myself to high standards. I believe that it’s more important to be just than to be right. I’m nerdy, arrogant, and not the least bit interested in your silly rules. The easiest way to throw me for a loop? Add social engagement to the mix.
Throughout life I’ve been schooled on the intricacies of human interaction and how to adapt. I act more outgoing or traditional than I am. It’s become so commonplace there aren’t many people who’ve seen me at my core, and if they have they assumed I was angry or sullen.
But adapting throws a wrench in the dating game. I’m unsure of the right mix of being engaging in order to get to know a man while showing my true colors. If I think he’s not interested in getting to know who I am I become disinterested and bug out. I don’t pick up on or connect specific types of behavior as engaging friendship or flirting. I can’t always discern the meaning hidden within a dating bio; to me they all look the same.
My ideal companion has interests other than riding a bicycle and travel. Are you interested in getting off the bike and getting to know me? Are you willing to forego the fancy restaurant to eat burgers in the park and feed the ducks? Would you stay up late to gaze at the stars and ponder the possibility of life on other planets? Can you hold your own in an argument over a concept you hold dear but I think is shit and not ghost me afterward?
Life is short, so if I want something I should just say so. After all, the worst thing to happen is I’m told no, and no is far better than never knowing. So is regret. I regret a lot of things I’ve done in my life, but at least I did them. This entire dating thing frustrates the hell out of me but nothing ventured nothing gained so I’m going to keep trying… for now.
Wish me luck. I need it.