How to Install a Ceiling Fan

STEP 1: Because you’re sick of the hideous light fixture in your bedroom, decide to install a ceiling fan in its place even though you’ve never done anything remotely like this before.

STEP 2: Buy ceiling fan.

STEP 3: Read instructions and think this will be easy and you should have it up in a few hours.

STEP 4: At the end of Day 1, after hours of texting a truck driver friend asking what to do next and when your arms are so sore and tired you can no longer hold them over your head, give up and resolve to continue the next day.

STEP 5: On Day 2 accept offer of help from a man you’ve been chatting with on a dating site. When he comes over learn he had no intention of helping you with the fan.

STEP 6: After getting rid of Mr. Not-So-Helpful, get back at it. Decide to start the wiring job over. Spend hours looking for dropped screws, but eventually manage to get the rest of the thing assembled.

STEP 7: Turn on the breaker and switch. When your newly installed fan doesn’t work, cry yourself to sleep feeling like an utter failure.

STEP 8: On Day 3 after Mr. Not-So-Helpful texts you that he’s not that into you, take down your dating profile because men suck. Troubleshoot your fan installation to see if you can figure out what’s wrong. Have no luck whatsoever. Cry some more.

STEP 9: On Day 4 decide you’re going to adopt a St Bernard and call an electrician. Try one last time before waving the white flag of surrender.

STEP 10: Almost fall off the step ladder when you flip the breaker and the fan works!

STEP 11: Decide guy that has listened to you whine about fan for the past four days while driving over-the-road is actually a nice man. Tell him so. Make arrangements to meet up.

20 thoughts on “How to Install a Ceiling Fan

  1. Hooray! Nice job, Jen! Sorry it took kind of a circuitous route, but yay for you, oh She-who-installeth-ceiling fans! 🙂

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