I think about him every day,
the way
he made my body quake.
I lie awake
imagining
him touching me
once more.
Such feelings I abhor.
I’m longing for a man
who doesn’t give a damn
about me.
It’s been three
months since I cut contact,
still I want him back.
Long as he stays away
I should be ok.
This is the gritty
truth about recovery.
We don’t suddenly decide
to become butterflies
and fly away
gracefully.
I’m a caterpillar first,
crawling on the earth,
wanting to fly into his arms
as though The Law of Diminishing Returns
doesn’t apply.
So I cry,
admit how I feel,
and continue to heal.
Like this:
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Dogpaddling Through Life 
Sometimes we, like caterpillars, need to wrap ourselves in a cocoon. There we can heal and become strong and beautiful. Then we fly!
Indeed we do.
If only we could speed the healing process…
I’m sure some think they can, but whenever I try it only makes things worse.
WOW! Powerful poem Jen!!
All I can say is what you wrote is so my Ex-fiance & myself.
I miss him still. At least when we still spoke on the phone that was something. 3 years now…no contact. *sighs*
{{hugs}} Sherri-Ellen
Hang in there. You have made it sound like you have quit sugar? Cheers,H
Beautiful, moving , so relatable. Pain and heartbreaks mold us to be stronger and resilient. But if only we can make it quick and just fly away.
Oh well. It is what it is.
Healing is fundamental and it likes to be elusive, but it can be found!