Down and Dirty

I think about him every day,
the way
he made my body quake.
I lie awake
imagining
him touching me 
once more.
Such feelings I abhor.  
I’m longing for a man
who doesn’t give a damn
about me.
It’s been three
months since I cut contact,
still I want him back. 
Long as he stays away
I should be ok. 

This is the gritty
truth about recovery. 
We don’t suddenly decide
to become butterflies 
and fly away
gracefully. 
I’m a caterpillar first,
crawling on the earth,
wanting to fly into his arms
as though The Law of Diminishing Returns
doesn’t apply. 
So I cry,
admit how I feel,
and continue to heal. 

9 thoughts on “Down and Dirty

  1. WOW! Powerful poem Jen!!
    All I can say is what you wrote is so my Ex-fiance & myself.
    I miss him still. At least when we still spoke on the phone that was something. 3 years now…no contact. *sighs*
    {{hugs}} Sherri-Ellen

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