The Wicked Witch of Wilton Street

Yes, this is about me. No, I don’t really live on Wilton Street. And no, I won’t cast a spell for you. Oh, you’ll pay me? In that case……

The Wicked Witch of Wilton Street

I’m the Wicked Witch of Wilton Street,
my skills known far and wide
thanks to a nosy neighbor
whose own business she can’t abide.
Instead she talks about me
(though she thinks that I don’t know).
Bitch, I am using you;
You help my powers grow.

I’m the Wicked Witch of Wilton Street.
My looks turn men away
yet wives fear I would snatch them
(like I’d want what they can’t give away).
I prefer toys whose stamina
can at least match my own,
so keep that trash away from me
at your pretend-like happy home.

I’m the Wicked Witch of Wilton Street.
My cat is my familiar.
She’s sweet and kind and mean as shit
and pees like a boy. Most peculiar!
Her fur is black and shiny.
Her heart is made of gold.
She follows me when I walk the dog;
we are the Three Witches of Old.

I’m the Wicked Witch of Wilton Street.
I practice my enchantments
alone at night in naked bliss
with blinds drawn to the planet.
The neighbors, they are curious.
The neighbors, they are cruel.
They think I should be married
and under God's strict rule.

Alas, I'm but a woman
living her best life.
How sad they let misogyny
color my joy with strife.
They say evil things about me.
They stay away, quaking in fear.
Trust me, if I really was a witch
you’d be in Siberia, dear.

17 thoughts on “The Wicked Witch of Wilton Street

  1. ROFL!!! What a hilarious poem Jen!! Love the ending! Why is it people judge others so much? And why are they always so curious??? Funny you write that you are a Witch; there are people in here who think I ‘might’ be a Witch….
    People sure have weird imaginations…..Let them think what they want!
    We KNOW who we are!
    {{{hugs}}} Sherri-Ellen & ***purrss*** BellaDharma

    Pee S: BellaDharma looks like a BLACK cat as did P SH…..that is when the rumour about me being a Witch started! ROFL!!!!

    1. They’ve always thought we single women are witches, especially those of us who love cats. That’s why some women prefer to be called a “Crazy Cat Lady” because at least they’re not a witch. It’s sad. Old men who live alone are to be pitied but we are to be scorned.

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