All these years later the abuse, it still haunts me. It lives in my body, feeding me helpings of fear, hyper-vigilance, and constant disapproval. I can’t spend a moment alone on the sofa without their reproof. I’m lazy and selfish, ungrateful and cruel. All the things they were, they dumped onto me. I’m still carrying it ‘round like a kid in foster care whose filthy hand-me-downs fill used garbage bags. I’m incredibly lonely but I can’t take a chance on you dumping more on me. I can hardly carry the crap I haul now.