Happy new year. Same as the old year. Or as Janis Joplin succinctly put it, “Tomorrow never happens. It’s all the same fucking day, man.”

Graybie Baby is shocked I'd say such a thing.

This latest patch of growth has been hard. There’s a reason why we deny, rage, barter, and mope before we get to acceptance. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I’ve managed to choke it down. I know I can’t get back that lost time and all that I could have had, but I can make the most of what I’ve got going forward, and I intend to do just that.

Past all the hurt,
the tears, the rage,
grief leads me
where truth dwells,
stark and plain.
When my shit comes up missing
I can no longer feign
it has nothing to do
with my hanging with thieves.
Who cares you're offended
by what I believe?
If you couldn’t be bothered
to support me when needed,
don’t show up expecting
to be warmly greeted.
I'm too busy doing
those things I find pleasing.
There’s not much time left,
so I’m squeezing
out all the joy
I can muster.
You won’t find me hiding
behind lackluster
words or deeds.
I’m not gonna play
silly games by your rules.
I’m not gonna smile
and suffer fools
dumping their shit
at my feet.
I will not shirk,
excuse, or retreat
from bullies and minions
who mean me harm.
I’m locked and loaded.
I’m fully armed.
The time is now
to display new art.
fills holes in my heart.
The canvas is primed.
The palette is lush.
A masterpiece starts
with one stroke of the brush.

16 thoughts on “Acceptance

  1. Jen, the last four lines of your poem are so powerful:

    The canvas is primed.
    The palette is lush.
    A masterpiece starts
    with one stroke of the brush.

    Wow. Just wow. Wishing you and the cats (love the photos today, BTW) really good things in the coming year!

  2. Janis Joplin also said something else, in a letter home to her family years-and-years ago:
    “You better be true to yourself, because yourself is all you got.”

    Happy Mew Year Jenn & Kitties.

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