Am I? Looks Like I’m Gonna Find Out!

Good news! I finally found testing. I have an initial appointment in August at a clinic that’s less than an hour’s drive from here. I’ll have to pay $2,500 out-of-pocket, but they do offer payment plans if I am unable to get the money together by then. I like this because it means I can sit with the results until I’m comfortable with however it goes, as opposed to having an insurance company aware of my diagnosis.

If I am diagnosed, my employer knowing is not a good idea. Sure, it would be helpful, but I work in a red state where DEI is under attack. It’s no secret that some Republicans would like to see The Americans with Disabilities Act rescinded. If that happened, I’d always be an easy target for termination. Better to keep info like that to myself. As an aside, how are so many of you clueless to the Aryan desires of today’s Republican Party? Or in the case of Alabama, both political parties.

I took off the mask. I do feel it important to mask up for my real job; otherwise no. It’s unreal how much energy I expend pretending to be neurotypical when it gets me nowhere, so I quit doing it. I’m under no obligation to perform for the masses. I don’t have to say hello to anyone just because they did so to me. I don’t have to smile or be animated. I don’t have to make eye contact. I can talk to myself in public and sing. And I do just that. And those that can’t deal with it are intolerant. That’s not my problem as long as they don’t cause me problems. When they do, it’s on.

I’m showing more compassion toward myself for the way I act and react to certain things. I know I need rest instead of pushing myself to the point of exhaustion. I’m using tools, like the dishwasher, to make chores easier so they get done.

I’ve always known I’m different, and I was led to believe that made me less than the rest of you. But that’s not true. In fact, neurotypicals love people like me. They love Jerry Sienfeld, Dan Akroyd, Courtney Love, Greta Thunberg, Bill Gates. They love Einstein, Isaac Newton, Marie Curie, Emily Dickinson, Mozart, Van Gogh.

So laugh, you bitches! We’ll see who laughs last, because that’s who laughs best.


12 thoughts on “Am I? Looks Like I’m Gonna Find Out!

  1. I’ve told you before, Jen, and I’ll tell you again – we’re weird, but there’s nothing wrong with us! The rest of the world is fucked up! I wish you the best, though, with what happens next.

  2. I don’t want to come across like the proverbial victim, but I spent my entire life feeling like I needed other people’s approval for how I was and what I wanted. It took a while, but now, I don’t give a shit. It’s never too late to believe in yourself.

  3. I have a theory. Everyone that is not weird is just pretending and copying others. Not only that, they are boring!

    I’ve heard that, “you’re so quiet”. One day I may reply with what I’m really thinking! Can you imagine their faces! 😀

  4. Hey Jen! I’m overjoyed for you!!! If the results aren’t what you expected and are a complete surprise I’ll still be your friend.😁😁 I know, I know. I’m such a great person!😁😁
    You’re doing great and I hope that you get the results that you’re looking for.💜😎💜
    You said you live in a red state? Which state is that?

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